0001 - Laserfiche WebLink

Home Browse Search

THE HAST!N6S GAZETTF. VOL. L. ---NO. 24. HASTINGS. MINN.. SATURDAY. MARCH 7, 1908. MINNESOTA H!STOHICAL 1 SOCIETY. Si per Tear hi Advance. THE CLEARING HOUSE Methods of the Big Bank E change In New York City. MARCH OF THE MESSENGER The Way Millions on Millions of D lars In Checks Change Holders In Few Minutes In the Daily Balanci of Accounts Between Banks. There is marked silence for a mo- ment after the feet have stopped mov- ing. The crowd in the room begins to thin out, for the delivery clerks are Ping, taking with them the packages X. of checks which have been deposited with the settling clerks. The latter still have work to do. Their assistants rescue the little tickets from the corn- s. ; partments into which they were drop- ped. and the settling clerks scan the amount of them to see if they agree ol- with the totals on the exchange slips. a W'hen first be entered the room the ng settling clerk gave the proof clerk In the manager's gallery the amount of the checks be brought with him. Now er he ascertains the total of the amount e deposited with him. Soon he is able rd to tell whether his bank bas a debt or ng credit balance. and this information he e communicates to the proof clerk. Then the clearing house knows exactly how at mach cash will have to be moved from bank to bank In ad lusting balances. Forty-five minutes Is the limit allow- ed for making the exchauges and prov- ing the balances, and fines may be im- posed if the allotted time Is exceeded. But it Is rarely necessary to impose fines, so rapid is the work of the mes- sengers and so simple the system of exchange. Most of the work is done before the messengers get to the clear ing house. The the"ks for exchange with other banks are inclosed in sep- arate envelopes, and these envelopes are arranged in consecutive order in the delivery clerk's bag, so all needless delay in depositing them Is eliminated. To make the clearing finally complete It is of course necessary to exchange the cash. "Accordingly," says James G. Cannon in his book on "Clearing Houses," "before half past 1 o'clock each debtor bank, In compliance with the requirements of the constitution, pays Into the clearing house the amount of its debit balance and obtains a re- ceipt for the same signed by the as- sistant manager. After half past I o'clock the creditor banks receive at the clearing house their respective bal- ances and give their receipts for the same In a book provided for that pur- pose, but in no case can a creditor bank receive its balance until all the debtor banks have paid in."—New York Post. "Clearing!" That word is the ord for the shuttling of many feet and th pattering of thick envelopes upon ba wood. Men with leather bags hu against their chests like bass drum pass up and down rows of desks which other men sit and as they go by deftly band out brown paper packages containing the equivalent of millions in gold. Thus do the banks of New York transfer money each business day. As vast as the figures involved in the operation are, they do not make an • impress upon the mind. One is more apt to wonder whether the gray haired messenger in the blue serge suit would succeed in disorganizing the line if he gave the wrong envelope to bank No. 49 and, if so, whether he would be con- demned forever by his associates. But no one seems to make a mistake, and the visitor bas no reason to worry About the possibility of misplacing $28 000,000 even for half a second. The machinery of the clearing house is al- most too perfect to slip a cog. The clearing house begins to show signs of activity as early as 9:30 o'clock, when the vanguard of bank runners makes its appearance. They travel in pairs and are mostly young men, al- though the veterans have not all re- tired. Their badge of office is a bag, any sort of bag, suit case, telescope, kit bag, canvas bag. Sometimes it has the name of the bank It came from printed across the end. More often it bears no d1stinguishing mark. Further, its identity is frequently hidden behind an exceedingly shabby exterior. That is perhaps a virtue. At all events, it is not considered good form in bankingcircies to be ostenta- tious. A strong brig even though it be old and chafed is just as good a vehicle for a fortune as a new one and is less likely to produce buntings in the heart of a thug. So this is the reason why the young men who sweet UD the mar- ble stairs look as if they were carrying bags tilled with their own clothing in- stead of other persons' checks. Self conscious they are not despite the loads they carry, and one might well imagine they were going upstairs to change their garments for gymnasium suits. But when the visitor reaches the floor above and climbs to the little gallery at one end he realizes that not basket ball, but another game, is to be played. Already the players are preparing to take their positions. At the side walls are benches on which delivery clerks are sitting, their bags at their sides, and opposite is a solid counter divided into about seventeen compartments, to the front of which are affixed, if occu- pied, the name plates of different banks. Beyond the first is a second counter and between the two a rack for hats and overcoats. A broad aisle with more benches and hatracks separates the two rows of counters from dupli- cates on the opposite side of the room. Settling clerks, who take their places on high stools behind the outer rows of counters, face the walls. Those at the inner counters face the center aisle. At the elbows of the settling clerks stand their assistants, who are re- quired to sign the exchange slips pre- sented with each package of checks. As the clock nears 10 one glances front the high dome, with its row of electric lights, to the scene below. The clerks at the compartments have made themselves comfortable. The messen- gers standing at ease before them have slung their bags and are ready. A minute passes. A man appears at the rostrum in the gallery and rings a gong twice. Eyes below are uplifted as he makes an announcement about out of town banks that will hereafter clear through different correspondents. That is not of particular interest, but he pauses briefly and then utters the magic word, "Clearing!" The messenger for bank No. 1 crosses the room at one end of the counters and takes the place of No. 97, who has moved down a pace. Simultaneously ditty other men have taken a step for- . ward, and the tramping and scraping of feet come 'regularly. No. 1 has slapped an envelope down before the clerk at No. 97's compartment, dropped a ticket into a slot, offered an exchange slip for signing and passed on to No. 96 without uttering a word. Each of No. l's fifty associates has duplicated his performance in every detail, and so the exchanges, as they are called, have been fairly started. In the meantime the settling clerks are doing their share of the work. Long sheets of paper in front of them are being filled out with the total amounts of the checks presented by the men who are circling about the counters, making monotonous but not unpleasant sounds with their feet Suddenly, when you are just beginning to understand what it is all about, a halt is called. No one says anything, but every one stops. You ask why, and some one says the exchanges have been completed. Yon ask how 000,- 000,000 can change hands in exactly fifteen minutes by the clock, and the same person looks at you with a pity- ing smile and remarks, "Why, you've just ata it delle." A MARKET IN MOROCCO. The Best Place to Study the Ways of the Wily Natives. The place of all places to see the Moorish people is at their markets, for every class and kind of them is there, and when you have seen one market you nave seen thein all, for there Is a racial similarity in the Moors the world over. The first thing about a Moorish mar- ket that attracts the attention of a traveler is the farreaching odor or, rather; the multiplicity of odors, for there is a composite character about the smell of a Moorish market that can- not be equaled anywhere outside of China. Before you can even bear the continual wrangle and jangle of the market place you can smell it Once there the interminable jumble of things and folks is disconcerting, and the evidence of dirt everywhere takes from an American all desire to deal in eatables, for the Moors seem to be wholly insensible to dirt of any kind and every kind and have no objec- tion to fruit and berries that have come in unprotected over miles of dusty and sandy roads. These people are natural traders, sec- ond to none in their ability to obtain the highest possible price or equally ready willingness to let the article go for a mere pittance rather than miss making a sale. They will begin the price of a lamp at 8 shillings and after a little haggling will come down to 1 shilling, but if you move on they will thrust the lamp into your hand and ask you to give them anything for it that you will, and it is a sale, no difference bow small may be your offer. In nearly all countries the every- where present and always the same donkey is an inevitable adjunct of a Moorish market. The whole animal kingdom would be searched through in vain to find any creature more wholly devoid of impulse and sentiment than this imposed upon little beast. Like a fatalist philosopher, he is wholly resigned to the order of things, and nothing can cause him to stir from the even tenor of his ways. Caressing and even food do not seem to add any to his satisfaction, and beating and abuse do not detract from his tranquil- lity. His features are ,perfectly immo- bile. As he stands in the market place one may pet him and give him bits of grass or fruit and he will not raise his head or even open his eyes. He is the su- preme, ineffable resignation in flesh and blood. And no Moorish market 1s complete without him by the score.— World's core—World's Events Magazine. rrrm_$ssolution. Dave Saddler leas a brave Confed- erate soldier lobo Was in the hospital at Richmond and wbo, in spite of his sufferings,-attvays took a cheerful view of the situation. One day when be was recovering a visiting minister ap- proached his cot and tendered him a pair of homemade socks. "Accept these," said he. "I only wish the dear woman who knit them could present them to you in person." "Thank you very much," said David gravely. "But I have decided that I never shall wear another pair of socks while I live." The preacher protested, but to no purpose, and finally he sought out the boy's sister to tell her how foolishly the invalid had behaved. "Why," exclaimed she, "both his feet have been shot off!" Heaith— Eoonomy ROPE SUPERSTITIONS. Odd Beliefs About the Cure of Cancer and Mumps. "Yes, I am heartily glad that execu- tion by bangiug le passing out of ez- istence," said the jailer of twenty -Ave years' service. "Not only was bang- ing by the neck a grewsome, hor- rible affair to me, but It was always followed by a host of requests for a bit of the rope with which the hanging was done. Of course, these requests came mostly from ignorant people, but they were no less of a nuisance on that account. Oh, no, they didn't want bits of the rope for morbid reasons, bat because they firmly believed In the old superstition that a bit of rope used in a hanging would cure cancer If rubbed on the affected part. None of them ever came back to report whether a cure was effected, but I reckon if there had keen any cures I would have heard of them. "That Isn't the only ropeauperatition. by the way. In Maine, where I came from, some folk always use hempen rope for the mumps. A piece of 1t is tied around the waist of the sick per- son, erson, so that the disease will not creep to any vital part, but remain in the face. The superstition is observed by a few people of this day, and 1f you go into small remote country towns in Maine you will see hempen ropes hanging In the corner grocery store, bearing a label, 'Ropes For Mumps."'— New York Tribune. LAST WORDS. 'Thoughts That Marked the Passing of Some Noted Men. There 1s a collection of 'last words" of celebrated men which contains many beautiful and startling phrases. Wheth- er they were really uttered by the men to whom they have been credited. says the Berliner Post, is another matter. "Thus the words of Augustus. 'The comedy Is at an end—did I play my part well?' are known to nearly every reader. The collection of let weeds of great physicians published by The British Medical Journal' gives Haller credit for saying, The artery beats— it heats no more,' and says of Noth- nagel that he wrote: 'The night of July 6, after a violent attack of angina pectoris, • • • I will die of arterial calcination.' Cooper, Bright and Bro- die dled with blessings upon their lips, and Darwin, looking death calmly in the face, said, 'I really do not fear death.' Locole's last words were flip- pant: 'Au revolr, gentlemen. At the autopsy we will meet again.' None of these classic sentences, however, impress one so much as did the words of one of the few mortals who to our knowledge went into the unknown with minds undimmed. He was an old man who had lived a good and full life. With his last breath he said: 'It Is not yet time. I want to stay'—that was the voice of nature." The Next Duty. "What is my next duty? What Is the thing that Iles nearest to mer "That belongs to your everyday bb - tory. No one can anawer that ques- tion but yourself. Your next duty Is just to determine what your next duty is. Is there nothing yon neglect? le there nothing you know you ought not to do? You would know your duty if you thought in earnest about It and were not ambitious of great thing.." "Ab, then," responded she, "i sup pose it is something very coiu:nou place, which will make life more drew, than ever. That cannot help me." "It will If it be as dreary as readin- the newspapers to an old deaf aunt 1 will soon lead you to something. more Your duty will begin to comfort you a, once, but will at length open the au- known fountain of life In your heart.' —George Macdonald. He Drew. A very pretty girl had a bashful art- ist for a sweetheart, but he would nor er come to the point One night after he had made a desperate attempt to test her feelings she looked at him In a very significant way. "What do you mean by that?" be asked, with a startled look. "Do you profess to be an artist?" she replied evasively. "Yea" "Do you think you are a pod one?' "I flatter myself that I am." "Well, I don't think so." "Why not?" "Because you cannot Men draw se inference." He did, though, and now they draw conclusions. An Agreement. Parishioner (a little the woeas for liquor)—I hearzh you preasb yes' eight, New Minister—You didn't bear mach. I fancy. Parishioner --That what—bk —I thought myself.—Leelle'e Weakly. Whenever I find a great deal of gratitude In a poor man I take it for granted there would be as much gas - Drafty if he were a rich mac.—Pope. THE QUADRANT. Hew the Idea of the Device Came to Thomas Osditey. Concerning Thomas Godfrey, a fa - moos American mathematician, there Is an interesting account in the "Lit- erary History of Philadelphia." Thomas Godfrey was a glazier. He seemed to be one of the meet singular phenomena that ever appeared in the earned world. One day while at work at his trade a young girl came to a pump and filled a pall with water, which was left upon the sidewalk. The son's rays were re- flected from Godfrey's glass to the pall of water and than to his eye, thus com- pleting a triangle. This is said to have suggested to the glazier's mind the Idea which In 1730 became tbe basis for the doable refecting sea quadrant, Prior to this time English mariners had been using Davis' bow to ascer- tain their latitude at sea. but it could not be adjusted In a storm. Godfrey gave the subject careful study, taught himself Latin in order to read New- ton's "Principle" and endeavored to have the value of his Invention recog- nised in England. While thus engaged he determined to have the device tested on a ship bound for the West Indies. In Jamaica the quadrant was exhibit- ed, or presented, ilo an English sea captain. Thus the Important discovery came into the possession of Hadley, a mathematical instrument maker in Loadon, whose name It usually bears in spite of the long exertions of Influ- ential Americans of the eighteenth century to have Godfrey's claims es- tablished and honored. TESTING DRUGS. Ergotine 1e Tried on Chickens, Digi- talis on Frogs. A lot of sorry looking chickens, dogs and cats loafed 1n the black, 111 smell - tag yard of the great chemical plant. "We use these animals to test our drugs on," said the chemibt. "They come in very handy. They more than earn their board. "Ergotine is a drug we teat on chick- ens. It is a simple test. If a dose of ergotlne falls to turn a chicken's comb black, we know that the drug is for some reason or other worthless. "Hasheesh we teat off dogs. Hash- eesh is made of female hemp buds. Male hemp buds have no medicinal value, yet some dishonest dealers put male buds on the market, and since they resemble the female buds precise- ly it is impossible to detect them sane by an actual test Dogs given hasheesh get drunk and happy if the stuff is good. "Digitalis, the heart stimulant, is Meted on frogs. We inject a drop of it into a frog's stomach, and in the kymograph, or heart recording ma- chine, we study the changes that take place in the frog's heart action. Thus we get a very accurate knowledge of what our digitalis can do. "Do we ever test drugs on ourselves? Oh, yes, indeed, often. Chemists have lost their lives, chemists have gone in- curably Insane, through too rash a bravery in testing drugs on their own persons."—Los Angeles Times. The Raven. Writing on "Birds In Christian Leg- esd and Symbol" in the National Re- view, Rev. R. I. Giles says: The raven is looked upon with divid- ed feelings. He 1s the "bird of ill omen" par excellence. "Corvo di mai augurlo" is indeed the Italian equiv- alent of the phrase and "Ungiuck- srebe" the German one. According to the fathers, he Is the emblem of pro crestinatfon, with his cry of "Crag. eras"—"Tomorrow, tomorrow." His not having returned to the ark has al ways been rememberedagalust him. Yet he, too, is a Mous bird. He played his part in the Christmas mystery. It was said that at the hour of the great birth tbe crock crowed "Christos nates est," the raven croaked "Quando?" the rook cawed "Hoc nocte," the ox mooed "Ub17' the sheep bleated "Bethlehem," and the acs brayed "Eamua" This is found as early as the fourth century. Time She Began. It was on a Sixth avenue surface ear. A woman sat with her little daughter, who to all appearances was seven or eight years old. The conduct- or came for the fares, and the woman ave him a eve cent piece. "Ia the little girl with you. madam?" asked the conductor. "Yes," assented the woman. "Ser fare, Place," aid the man. 'But I never have paid for her," be- an the woman. "And does that prove that you're Sever going tor asked the conductor, taking the fare reluctantly tendered.— New York Press. Genius Defined. Professor of Polite Literature and Sigh Art—Now, young gentlemen, can any of you give me a good definition et genius? Beloved Disciple—Genius, b an unlimited capacity for taking --erg-what belongs to others.—Sydney (N. B. W.) Bulletin. The Spendthrift Version. "Ton know that old saying," began lSwoter. "'Take care of the pennies cm. "And." interrupted Galley, "tbe dol- lars will take care of your belrs."— Pbiladelphla Press. Followed the Lead. Teacher—Where do we obtain coal. Freddie? Freddie—From the coal beds, miss. Teacher—Right! Now, Jimmy, where do we obtain feathers? Jimmy— Prom feather bide, mics. 1GLANDSAYS NO ALUM IN Poop and strictlyrohlbits the sale of alum baking powder— So does France So does Permany j�!* ifr('Tr itGo 0011W t(f, t t .rFrri� Wb The sale of alt m foods has been made illegal in Washington and the mid of Colum. bia, and alum baking powders are everywhere recognized as injurious. To protect yourself against alum, when ordering baking powder, Sayjilamlp- DAVA 1 BAKING POWDER and be very sure you get Royal. Grape Royal is the only Baking Powder made from Roya Cream of Tartar. it adds to the digestibility and somenesf of the food. DREAM FOOD. Hasheesh, the Strange Drug That Is Used In the Orient. Hasheesh, that strange drug which has given our lauguoge its word "as• sasatn"—a man so frenzied by the drug that be accomplishes murder—is used by the Persians, Turks and Egyptians in a manner akin to the use of opium by the Chinese. It is the product of a plant grown in large quantities in the Peloponnesus (southern Greece) in the district about Trlpotttza. The plant grows to a height of about four feet. and its branches are thickly covered with small leaves and studded with tiny seeds. The entire plant, stalk and branches Is cut within a few Inches of the root and laid out in the sun to dry. The branches are then rubbed to separate the seeds, and these in turn are ground into a fine powder, which constitute!, the drug. The drug has the power o1, inducing sleep and producing pleasant and fantastic dreams. Continued use of hasheesh renders its devotees wild and reckless and results in a complete wreck of their mental and physical constitution. For this reason the Egyptian govern ment prohibited the Importation of the drug and entered into a convention with Greece to prevent Its exportation from there to Egypt, where the con• sumers of hasheesh are very numerous. The drug Is practically never used in Greece, but is now exported to the va- , nous ports in England, Austria, France and Italy, and from there much, no doubt, ultimately dada its way to Egypt BRIGHT SAYINGS. A Little Batoh of Stories Related by an Englishman. The sultan of Turkey bad sent the queen of Spain a diamond bracelet.. She had the stones reset in earrings and called the fact to the attention of Fuad Pasha, the Turkish envoy. "His majesty," replied Fuad, "will be delighted that your majesty gives an ear to what comes from Constantino-! pie." To the same Fuad an Englishwoman impolitely said. "How many wives have you7' "The same number as your husband, madam," said the wily Turk. 'The I only difference is that he conceals one; of his and I do not." When Robert Lowe married and said, "With all my worldly goods I thee en- dow," he grumbled to his wife after-' ward, "And at the time I hadn't a, brass farthing." "Oh, but, my dear, you forget there is your genius." Lowe replied, "Weil, you cannot say I endowed you with that" In a much older story Frederick the Great is represented as saying angrily to the English ambassador of the day, "England is now without an ally upon the continent except God." Sir Hugh Elliott instantly replied, "Yes, sire, but God is an ally that de- mands no subsidy."—From "Rambling Reminiscences," by Sir Henry Drum- mond Wolff. The World Goes On. We all imagine that our work is im- i portant and that no one can do it as well as we do, but the world has been constantly improving in spite of the fact that every man dies at the end of a short time.—Atchbon Globe. Ready Remedy. Author—I am troubled with insomnia. I lie awake at night hoar alter' hour ^g' thinking about my literary work. Hla twB'lrst Actor—I a>p Ih a goaadary. i [Mend—How very foolish of yogi why have been oQsesd an osi't n sgat w don't you get Sp cad read paribus of 10 a managed cad I don't kawr bow It? te set Beoomd Aetoe_Weii. daa't woes i rye T6q'il coos Sad It out LAW AND LITERATURE. Writers Who Might Have Won Reputa- tion at the Bar. The old connection between law and literature was strengthened by the late Bir Lewis Morris, who practiced as a conveyancer in Lincoln's Inn while he was establishing his reputation u a poet. There have been several poets who have abandoned the steep places of the bar for the elopes of Parnassus, but the late Sir Lewis Morris is the only poet of repute who has found the tasks of conveyancer not incompatible with the cultivation of the muse. R. D. Blackmore, the author of "Lorna Doone," practiced u a conveyancer for several years. Sir Walter Scott, speak- ing of himself and law, said, "There was no great love between us, and it pleased heaven to decrease it -on fur- ther acquaintance." Most of the poets who have sprung from the legal profes- sion appear to have entertained the same unfavorable view. Cowper, who was a fellow pttpil of Lord Thurlow in an attorney's once, was called to the bar at the Middle Temple, but he quick- ly yielded himself to the charms of literature. Denham was a member of Lincoln's Inn, and Thomas Gray, the author of the famous "Elegy Written In a Country Churchyard," studied for the bar, but neither of these got beyond the apprenticeship stage. Barry Corn- wall was a solicitor.—Law Journal. A HOMESICK PIONEER. Peelle Plaint of One of the Early Set- - tiers In Missouri. In wonder the people of today read of the persistent cheerfulness with which the pioneers went about the business of settling the great west. Nevertheless It somehow gratifies the weakness of human nature to know that there was now and then a wearer of the deerskin leggings and coonskin cap who grumbled. One early settler who went from a snug New England village to the fever haunted prairies along the MlMouri was moved to put his complaints into rhymes, one of which has survived and is now carefully preserved by the descendants of the early settler, who live surrounded by the peaceful pros- perity and comfort of a Missouri farm right in the heart of the anathematized prairie: Oh, lonesome, windy, grassy place, Where buffalo and snake prevail— The first with dreadful lookjng face, The last with dreadful $standing taU— I'd rather live on camel hump And be a Tankee Doodle beggar Than where I never see a stump And shake to death with fsver'n seer. Judging from the last line, one might Conclude that an acute attack of "ager had suddenly prevented him from con- tinuing. Victims of Heredity. It has been shown that criminal tendencies depend on heredity and so clal and physiological circumstances. The most important of these is hered- ity. Just as no amount of ambition will enable a man to write a Shake- spearean drama if be have not the talent, so it U preposterous to expect in a child of vicious parents, brought up among vicious snresoadinp, that moral tons which would characterise the Unset type of hnmanklnd.—Strand Marseille. Precious Models. "Jest think, somebody broke into my studio last night. Unfortunately I bad just begun a study in still lite." "Was it stoles?' "No, but the modals war —a ham asd some sausages."—Landon Tit-atta. CHURCH TIME. Quaint Ways of the Early Dutch cost. tion In the New World.• As early as 1659 the Dutch settler, at Kingston, N. Y., erected with their own hands a little church buiidlug and dedicated it the following year. When a regular minister arrived front hol- land the same year, writes Mrs. Nellie Urner Wallington in "Historic Churches of America," he found himself a dome ince with a membership of but six- teen souls and a salary paid in wheat, whicb was then legal tender among these humble tillers of the soil. In 1694 a bell was imported and gave such pleasure to the members of the little parish that they used it to an- nounce the hours for meals for the farmers of the neighborhood. The observance of one quaint cus- tom was reminiscent of their former life In Holland—the announcement by the gray haired sexton between the ringing of the first and last church bells that the hour for service had ar- rived. From door to door he traveled, rap- ped loudly and cried, "Church time!" Notices of all kinds, whether of fu• aerate, christenings, weddings or mer• rymakings, were handed first to the sexton, who in turn gave them to the clerk, who stuck them on the end of the bamboo pole which he kept sot that purpose and reached them up to the dominie. At the termination of the service, as in other Dutch churches, the deacons took up the collection with long poles having little velvet bags hung on the ends and a tinkling bell to wake the Bleepers to the responsibilities of n contribution. THE DUCK SHOVER. A Man Who Gets Things on the Bounce and the Nod. An amusing dialogue occurred be- tween Judge Willis, K. C., and a plain- tiff who sued a man for the value of a quantity of grain supplied. His honor said be had received a letter from the defendant, who said he could offer only half a crown a mouth. "That;" continued his honor, "will take six years to get rid of the debt," Plaintiff (emphatically) -1 would wlli- ingiy forgive a poor man. but when you find he is a "awanker" and doing every one in the neighborhood it puts your back up. (Laughter.) We have to cut things very tine In order to get a shilling or two, and then these gen- try come "swanking" about the coun- try as If they were toffs. i am told by others that he Is nothing more than a "duck shover." [Laughter.] the Honor- 1 what shover? (Loud laughter.] Plaintiff—Duck shover, your honor, a man who gets things on the bounce and the nod. [Renewed laughter.] His Honor—You mean a man wbo gets people to let him have things on credit by representations that are not correct? Is that what you mean to convey by your big phrases—duck shover and so forth? [Laughter.) Plaintiff—That's it—duck shover and swanker. (Renewed laughter.] An order to pay 5 shillings monthly was made.—London News. For Husbands. A clergyman took down a small vol- ume "l'.bts Is called." he said, "the 'In- structions of Ptah-ho-Tep.' It Is one of the very oldest papyrus writings known. it gives among other things advice to husbands, and that advice is as good today is it ever was. Listen." And he read: "'If thou be wise, furnish thy house well. "'Woo thy wife ever, and never quarrel with her. 'Nourish her daintily. "'Deck her out, for fine dress is her greatest delight "'Feed her upon sweets. "'Perfume her. "'Make her glad with praise. "'Adorn her with jewels, feathers and the skins of beasts as sumptuously as thy purse will suffer."' How Much He Thought About Her. They were on their way to the the- ater, and she was tremulously happy. She felt that the words she longed to hear would be spoken that night. and the idea made her almost dizzy with delight "Mr. Sampson," she said softly. "why do you wear that bit of string upon your finger?' "Oh," replied Mr. Sampson, taking it off, "that was to remind me of my en- gagement with you tonight." It wasn't much, but It was enough to take away the delightful dizziness.— Lapdog Chronicle. The First Advertiser. The author looked up from the first chapter of his mammoth "History of Advertising." "I wonder," he murmured, "who could have been the first manufac- turer to advertise. It is an Item that would fit in well here." "There is no extant data on the sub- ject," said the farmer, "but 1 have every reason to believe that the ben is the person you are looking tor."— New Orleans Times -Democrat A Thirst For Knowledge. Caller—I wish you would tell me what the real difference is between a Stradivarius and any other violin. In- tormatdos Idltor—Weil, sometimes it Is as much as *„000.—Chicago Tribune. The happiness of lite eoosbbs la ae et.'fleg to dA something to love and Semethlag to hope tor.—Dr. Chalmers. alleeneessmwereav 0'