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HomeMy WebLinkAbout0010i. 111, 0•0•0•0•0•0000•000 00•00 • never walk in on new married.I • folks without givin' 'em warnin' I'm i One afternoon, when the i ;• r Why an Alfa"r I k CONVENIENT GAS STOVE. ey 'Edinburgh and Sir Arthur `:u;lr: i' . Can Be Readily Attached to Ordinary E the tIONEYMOON o • s • O • O • 0.0 ears, ared, n de - ening little "I'm " be now rtain f af- may Well, as a t be- -ben d— e in- flow less ned, d. ley rop- We , or e'd aid, tice find the an- on. Is a ng om in to ut 't, n't ds eet COOK a O • O Copyright, 1903, by T. C. blcCfure • O.O.O.O.O.O.00.O.O.O.O• They had been married two y "long enough," Prue suddenly decl "to dispense with all honeymoo monstrativeness." Tom Dawson put down his ev paper and stared at the pretty partner of his joys and sorrows. afraid I don't understand, dear, said. "Why, it's very simple. If you k • that I care for you—and I am ce that you care for me—all signs o fection are quite superfluous; they be dropped." "Oh!" -Tom said dubiously. what shall I drop first?" There w twinkle !n his eyes, and Prue saw 1 "To be serious," she pleaded, "to Fin with, you must not kiss me you come home to dinner and—an other -times. You mast drop"— "Drop you a courtesy instead," h terrupted her laughingly. "Don't be ridiculous, Tom! You k very well that there are many use customs that should be abando many things that should be droppe "Yes," be said, smiling whimsica "Hannah thinks so, I know. She d ped my meerschaum this morning. must take lessons of that girl, Prue drop her. On the whole, I think w better drop her." "It will not be necessary," she s with dignity. "Hannah gave no this morning. I shall have to some one else within a week." "I'm-sorry—sorry, I mean, _ for family. she'll drop down on next H nab's 'no feather weight, jou kn Speaking of dropping"— "I am not speaking of,it now. It quite ..useless while you are in such rood," she said Indignantly, risi from her chair. Before she could leave the room T was at her side. "Forgive me, dee he said. "I didn't know you were such sober earnest." He stopped kiss the pink cheek next to him,"b Prue lifted a protesting hand. "I)on Tom!". she said. "You forget; it is necessary." "No, `it isn't necessary'''—the wor came soberly enough now -"only Aim and natural." And the next day, when the ti game to say goodby, Prue had no o casion to complain'of his "honeymoo demonstrativeness." "Tom is very sensible this morning she said to herself, but she sighed she said it and went about all day wi a wistful look in her blue eyes. To was "sensible" in the evening also, an the next morning be was so very sons ble that Prue cried a little, but pe haps it was for joy. Even "sensible people do that. That afternoon Matilda made he appearance. Hannah came into th sitting room to announce her arrive "Matilda Stebbins. is here, Mrs- Daw son," she said, "after my place. Wi I show her in, ma'am? She and used'to work together once, and she' a dreadful good cook." - "Yts, I will see her," Prue said. An in a m iauent a tall, link, freckle face girl was standing in the doorway smiling at her. "Will you be seated?' Prue asked pleasantly, and the girl sli into achair, still smiling. "I hope you'll give me a try," sh said. "I'd like first rate to cook fo you and him." It was Prue's turn to smile. "Have you had much experience?" she asked "Heaps of it, ma'am, but never lou to one place." "That seems stranger' Prue ex claimed. "Well, you see, ma'am, the honey- moons don't usually stretch out over and above six months." - "The honeymoons?" "Yes, ma'am. I don't cook and do for none but new married folks. ,Han- nah told me about you and him when she first came here two months ago. She said as how she knew you was just married." Prue blushed. "How did Hannah know it?" she asked. "Easy enough, ma'am. It's like measles and wboopin' cough. She could tell by the symptoms. I'd rather live where there's lovemakin' goin' on continual than read the best novel ever made up." This was interesting, but very em- barrassing, to Mrs. Thomas Dawson. Two days ago she would have laughed heartily at Matilda's sayings and have found much enjoyment in repeating them to Tom. But present conditions made the girl's remarks seem almost personal, yet she felt tempted to en- gage her. "Matilda," said she, "did Hannah tell you the wages she received and the work she wins expected to do?" "Yes'm, she did, and I don't think she'll better herself none goin' to work In a factory." "Very well. I will give you a trial. When can you come?" "I can stay now, ma'am, and get din- ner if you'll let me go home for my riothes when the work's rid up. Han- nah.wants to leave as soon as she can t nyways." And so it happened that the honey- moon cook held sway in the Dawson kitchen when the owner of the house came home that evening. "You will be glad to hear that I've engaged a new girl," Prue said to him ,in the distantly polite tone that she had recently adopted in -speaking to her husband. "Very glad," he answered, "it she is an improvement on Hannah." The dinner was excellent, and Ma- tilda was very attentive in her service at table, beaming on them as though' she would say, "Bless you, my chic-' drenI" Late in the evening, when they were apparently much absorbed in reading, they beard a strange sound, half cough, half sneeze, in the hall. Prue looked up from the book. "What was that?" she said. Tom was on his way to the door when Matilda entered the room. "It was me, ma'am," she By HARRIET C. CANFIELD a-corrin'—not at first. Of .course th get used to me after awhile and right on.loverin' if I do see 'em. No in' suits me better'n that!" Prue's face was scarlet. She da I not look at Tom. Oh, why had s I engaged the services of such a sil sentimental creature? "If you please, ma'am," Matilda tinued, "I'm groin' home now to get clothes, and I'll say good night to y and him." "Thought we were 'new marri folks,' did she?" Tom said grimly. can 't imagine - why. She's a g cook," he �gdded, "and I hope we keep her.'! "We calf," Prue said to herself, "if we will meet . her peculiar require- ments. But I'll not be driven into any foolishly unnecessary display of affec- tion." ' For three days the Dawsons enjoyed the results of Matilda's culinary ef- forts, but a heavy heart will affect the best of appetites somewhat, and on the fourth day Matilda complained that they "didn't seem to relish their vic- tuals" and she "guessed she'd better be goin'." " h, no," Prue cried. • "No one could sui us better than you do." " 'in glad of that, ma'am; but there an tiler reason." And she hung he head.. Prue was painfully embarrassed, fo she could guess the other reason. " hope you Will stay," she stammered. "I'll think -it over till tomorrow ma'am, but I feel as if Hannah hadn' been fair with me, leadin' me to exp things was different between you an him from what they really be." Tom came home later than usual tha night Prue was in the hall givin some instructions to Matilda 'when h opened the door. His eyes looked tired and sad, she thought She hesitated a moment—only a moment—for Matilda was present, and now was her opportu nity to redeem herself in the girl's eyes, when she ran to meet her husband and held up her face to be kissed. The tired look faded from his eyes as if by mag- ic, and he put both arms around her and held her cldse. "Has my little wife come to her senses?" he asked. "Hush!" she answered. "I still think it's unnecessary, but Matilda likes it. She refuses to stay unless we are 'af- fectionate like.'" And she laughed hys- terically. "Olt," Tom said. That was all, but there was a world of disappointment in the exclamation. Then he looked be- yond his wife at Matilda, who stood beaming at him, her hands clasped in ecstasy. "Well, she'll stay now," he said bitterly. "I congratulate you." Yes; Matilda had decided to remain. She came to the sitting room door after dinner to announce her decision. After she had gone Prue left her seat and moved restlessly about the room. Then she sighed so deeply that Tom looked unit from his paper. "Head- ache?" he asked. "N -no," she said. Her lips trembled. and she buried her face in her hands and sobbed out, "It's just heart ache, Tom." "Heart ache?" he said gently. "I thought I had a monopoly of that" Prue came close to his chair and leaned against an arm of it. "Tom," she cried remorsefully—"Tom, dear,. will you forgive me and"—her voice sank to a whisper—"kiss me?" Ile caught her hands in his and drew her down beside him. "To please Ma- tilda ?" he asked. ' "Oh, Tom, you know better!" "Because if it's to please that girl I'll be hanged if I"— But something pre- vented further speech just then. go having, - finished a duet, were slain:; th- down to a homely "dish of tea"pro- vided by Mrs. Sullivan, the composer's red mother, it suddenly occurred to her to he start the subject of family names and IY, titles, which puzzled the good lady con- siderably. c— "Sir," she said, "your family name is , Guelph." "My dear mother," began Arthur. "But it is, isn't it?" she persisted. "Certainly," replied the duke, much and amused . " hat's the matter with it, Mrs. Suitt an?" can "Oh, n hang," returned the excellent old lady ngly. Only I can't un- derstand why you don't call yourself by your proper name." Arthur wanted to explain to her. but the duke would not allow him to. "There's nothing to be ashamed of in the name of Guelph, Mrs. Sullivan." he said gravely. "That's exactly what I say," persist- ed Arthur's mother; "nothing what- ever as far as I know, and, that being so, why you should not call yourself by it I can't understand -F. C. Bur- nand's "Records and Reminiscences." c,oyn-- ir ou d Genius In the Bud, '8 A lady who was "Aunt Kate" to r James MacNeill Whistler all his life, al- though not a relative, gives in a Lon - r don journal a glimpse of Whistler the I boy. She had known him ever since he was a child ild of two years. She was a , neighbor of the Whistlers, and after a t long absence from home she called up- tecon them and asked at once: d "Where is Jemmie?" "He was in the room a few minutes t ago," was the answer. "I think he g must be here still." • e Present. Jemmie's tiny form was discovered stretched on the undershelf of a table. The visitor went to secure the prize and asked: - "What are you doing there, Jem- mie ?" "I'se dworin'." In one small hand was a pencil, per- haps two inches long, and in the other a morsel of paper about three inches square. Yet. in these tiny proportions the little artist was even then doing work that showed an exquisite prom- ise. me c - n as th m d i- r - r e 1. d d d e r g When the Dawsons celebrated their tin wedding it was with the assistance of their honeythoon cook. .. An Unfamiliar Dialect. An American woman who was lately in London for the first time is con- vinced that Whatever the language may be whicl>, the cockneys speak it is not English. of her experiences is related by the Washington Post. The woman wished to see the city all by herself. Somebody told her that if she went to the terminus of some bus lines, It did not matter which, and waited a little she would bear the con- ductor call out the places on the route and then could choose that which she tvished to visit. She found a place where buses were arriving and departing and waited. She heard many curious names, but failed to understand much that the bus men said. Every now arid then -the man on the step of a bus would call ant, "Mobiotch, Moblotch!" and she wondered what part of London "Mo lotch" might be. She had never beard of it before, and she bad been studying London for six months. At last she ventured to address a conductor who looked approachable. "Will you kindly tell me," she said, "where one takes the bus for the Mar- ble arch?" The man looked at her pityingly Her American accent was thick upon her, and he perceived also that she must be deaf. He leaned toward her and drew a long breath. Then he bel- lowed: "This is your bus, ma'am!" and be- gan to shout, "Moblotch, Moblotch!" The visitor had let seven "Moblotcb" buses go because she never once guessed that that is the way Marble arch is pronounced in London. Javanese Music. The Javanese musical instruments are made mostly of bamboo, They also played upon a pipe or whistle, which was about three feet long and six Inches across. This sounded like the hollow roar of a lion. Another was a bundle of tubes of different lengths, which covered the small boy who car- ried it like a big saddle. A log hewn out with two strings stretched across it served as a drum. A zither of six- teen' strings and a mandolin of two completed their outdoor band, while inside one could hear other music made by gongs of wonderfully pure and beautiful tone. The human body being lighter than the water of the Dead sea, swimming In it Is difficult, the head alone tending to sink 1n the venter. New and Old Wonders. The seven world wonders of antiquity were: - The pyramids, Babylon's gardens. Mausolus' tomb, the temple of Diana, the colossus of Rhodes, Jupiter's statue by Phidias and the Pharos of Egypt, or, as some substitute, the palace of Cyrus. The seven wonders of the middle ages were: The coliseum of Rome, the catacombs of Alexandria, the great wall of China. Stonehenge. the leaving tower of Pisa, the porcelain tower of Nankin and the mosque of St. Sophia at Constantinople. The seven wonders of the new world are: Niagara falls, the Mammoth cave, Old Faithful, the tireless geyser in Yellowstone park; the big trees (se- quoia) of California, the Grand canyon of the Colorado, the great fresh water lakes and the Great Salt lake. Damp Weather and Health. The influence of damp weather upon sensitive people is remarkable. If there is a sore spot anywhere it hurts more: Latent weakness of any of the organs is brought out by congestion and irreg- ularity of function. Suppressed coughs start into activity and neuralgic nerves speak out. Old chronic rheumatism re- news its life, while corns are aggra- vated. Thele pulse is slow, the heart weak, the blood vessels lack tone, the muscles are flabby, the venous and lymphatic systems become engorged. le mind is languid and clouded. There is a general depression of vital- ity. nblen In Petticoats, It will probably be a matter of sur- prise to the general reader to learn that the petticoat was first worn ex- clusively by men. In the reign of Ding Henry VII. the dress of the English was so fantastic and absurd that it was difficult to distinguish one sex from the other. In the inventory of Henry V. appears a "petticoat of red damask, with open sleeves." There is no men- tion of a woman's petticoat before the Tudor period. Real Work. "I've just been reading Gladstone's life and the work he did. He gov- erned the nation, wrote several bookee studied twolanguages, saw a hundred people a day and answered all his mail, besides sitting up all night reading Homer." "That's nothing. Have you ever fol- lowed a bride around for two weeks before her wedding?"—Life. M At the Opera. "Why do you instalment sitting near the bass drum and cymbals at a grand opera performance?" "I don't mind telling you as an old friend," answered Mr. Cumrox. "It's the only way I can make sure of not disgracing mother and the girls by staying asleep through the entire per- formance."—Washington Star. Freedom. We talk largely of freedom, and yet the widest freedom we may 'enjoy to this world is not a whit greater pro- portionately than th Lighting Burner. One of the chief duties of the invent- or is to devise some way by which an article already in use as a necessity or ornament can be made to serve double duty. Probably his work was never more appreciated and realized thatn during the coal strike of last year, when every bit of heat which could be squeezed out of wood, coal or gas was made to do its full duty before it was permitted to escape. The oil or gas stove` which could not be utilized to cook a meal of victuals while heating a room had little place in the system of economics then in practice, and there Is no reason why the same arrangement should not continue every winter, even though fuel should chance to be more plentiful than last year. Leaving the question of heating a room and cooking a meal and taking up the subject of lighting, the same econ- omy has been in practice, though on a somewhat smaller scale, and many a kfer111711-1141.° eir. STOVE ATTACHED TO GAS JET. lamp flame and gas jet have produced good cups of -'tea, coffee and chocolate to accompany a frugal lunch prepared and eaten in a small room by those too poor to afford "square" meals on all occasions. This class of economists will probably see the merit of the burn- er attachment recently designed by a California inventor and shown in the accompanying illustration. It has a clamping arrangement, which grips the burner tube and supports the standards depending from the fiat wire screen at the top. T standards are adjustable by loosen ng the screws in the clamping member and may be reg- ulated to correspond with the size and beat of the flame issuing from the jet NOVEL PRESS FEEDER. Enables One Ran to Ran Rix Jobbers at Once. A California youth has invented a practical device for feeding and deliv- ering paper to and from job presses. He has just received the assurance that a patent will be granted him in Wash- ington on his device. The mechanical feeding and deliv- ery device is a small and comparative- ly inexpensive attachment for job presses, its principal parts being two hollow tubes, with live fingers each, jointed like human members and so adjusted as to work with the same reaching and retracting movement as the human arm. The linger tips are hollow, and through the function of a vacuum pump attached at the foot of the press paper adheres to the tips the moment they touch it and is released, according to a device of the Inventor, as soon as the arm retracts and de- scends on the delivery platform. The whole device is geared directly from the press, and hardly any extra. power is necessary to operate it. The ghostly arms are removable by a sim- ple twist of the thumb and can be laid aside temporarily so as not to interfere with the placing of the type. The de- vice makes it possible for one man to operate sixtjpb presses at the same time. eettink Tree. by Electricity. Successful experiments have been made in the various forests of France in cutting trees by means of electricity. A platinum wire is heated to a white heat by the electric current and used like a saw. In this manner the tree is felled much easier and quicker than in old way. No sawdust It pro- duce and there is consequently less wast of tllil; wood, while the slight carbolation caused by the hot wire act as a preservative to the wood. The new method is said to require only one-eighth of the time consumed by the old process. English Use Too Mneh Soap. To the excessive use of soap the writer of a letter to the London Times attributes the physical deterioration said to be taking place among the Eng- lish people. The deterioration, the writ- er proceeds to :explain, results from the loss of the natural oil provided by Providence to protect the body from rheumatism, chills, disease and dirt. And the loss, he adds, is caused simply by the application of soap to the skin. The author of the letter boasts that he has not used snap for thirty years. The World'. Water Power. John C. Aawkshaw, president of the Institute of Civil Engineers, has cal- culated the total water power of the world to be equivalent to 10,340,000,000 , horsepower (apparently annually). To obtain this figure he assumes a rainfall tf ten inches to flow off every square !nch of land and places the mean height It 2.250 feet above sea level. ; "Our present yearly output of 225,000,000 ' I yed by, a tong of coal would give that horsepow- white rabbit in a wire fenced city lot er for only a little over half a day." back yard.—New Orleans Times -Demo- crat: The Hiss. An American humorist once said that "the only way to define a kiss is to take one." Oliver Wendell Holmes called a kiss the twenty-seventh letter of the alphabet—"the love . labial which it takes two to speak plainly." Rare to Collect. 'The world owes me s living," said the young man. "I suppose so," said the old one, "but you are not so fortunate as to be a preferred creditor."—Judge. The Night Travelers Experience. There is no place like home, especial. ly when you are riding in a sleeping ear.--Philadel his Record Hospital For D eased Metals. The "dise i ases o meta s" are becom- ing so well recognized by German metallurgists that the imperial navy yard at Wilbeimsbafen regularly sends samples to the dissecting tables of Professor Heyn, who diagnoses the maladies and endeavors to prescribe relbedies. ", Sore Remedy Not Available. Rev. Pastor --Jars. Wakely tells me they have a great deal of trouble in get- ting their baby to sleep. Mrs. Temple—i suppose It is too young to take to church.—Stray Stories Between two evils choose neither Between two goods choose both.—LS ; P . Wards. Arab Lying. The following characterization of the Arab penchant for not telling the truth 1s from a paper by Dr. G. Saint -Paul - on the Tunisians: "Arab lying is ex- asperating. It is absurd and victorious. It triumphs easily over the critical sense and the habit of scientific rea- soning. It is sometimes childish. Your native servants will never be taken unawares. You forbid one of them to smoke in your diniepg room and you surprise him there wrlth a cigarette in his mouth. 'Yon W e'smoking,' 'No.' 'I saw you.' 'Impossible.' 'You had a cigarette in your mouth; you are hid- ing it in your hand; there it is!'- 'Then God put it in my hand.' The native denies, always. Taken red handed be denies. Beneath blows he denies. Pain is sometimes powerless to make him confess, even at the point of death. This obstinacy is due in part to the high idea he 1 as of his dignity. His pride forbids a confession, be- cause the avowal o his lying is in- finitely humiliating in his eyes. The fear of losing 'face' is all powerful in him. To recognize a fault is more shameful than to have committed it. Hence the peculiar •obstinacy of the native in de=uying, even when it would be to his interest to. confess. an ob- stinacy not manifested in other ways." —Journal of American Folk Lore. THE FIERY DRAGON. How Wells Cloelr tikes. The great clock of Wells cathedral in s England was built in 1322 for Glaston- bury abbey and ran 250 years before n it was removed to Wells. The striking mechanism of the clock no 1s very curious and elaborate . Above the dial is a little battlemented turret, with four knights on horseback, armed with lances, standing guard round it At some distance from the clock itself, near the end of the transept, is a life size painted figure, quaintly ugly, with a battleax in its hand, while outside the cathedral is a second large dial, guarded by two tall figures of knights in ardl�or. When the gilt stars point to the hour, the painted figure (Jack Blandivir, as he is called by the country people about Wells, no one knows why) strikes the quarters by striking his heels against two bells behind him and then tolls the great bell of the clock by striking it with his battleax. The two standing knights in armor strike the outside bell with their halberds, and at the, first stroke of the great bell the four knights on horseback over the inside dial start ata gallop and rush round` and round the turret in a niisic tournament, in which one knight 1e thlliwn from his horse and regains his seat in every revolution. •aeii•at and Mediaeval Description of the Monster. Dragons were important animals 1 ancient and mediaeval natural history 'until Comparatively recent time scientist ever thought of questioning the existence of this most formidable of beasts. The annals of Winchester ,tor 1177 gravely state that "in this year dragons were seen of many in Eng- land." Gamer, professor of natural history at Zurich, gives a detailed de- scription of the . dragon, while Aldro- vandus, In his "History of Serpents and Dragons," published in 1640, de- votes fifty pages to the monster. A good specimen of a dragon would seem to have been a beast • about the size of a sheep, incased in a coat of scales which shone like silver. Its ck was - serrated like a saw. It possessed .11 long tail, a pair of batlike wings, four heavily clawed feet and a wolvine head, the jaws of which were armed with very formidable teeth. The tongue was barbed with fire, and fury issued from the monster's lnouth, and the head bore a crest. Dragons were the most wicked and vindictive of creatures. They seem always to have been in a towering rage and spent the greater portion of their time in rushing up and down the earth destroying everything bat came in their path. The origin of ragons was a disputed point among mediaev 1 6 naturalists. Some m aint9l - n ed that these animals were generated y the heat of India; others were, --of opinion that the volcanoes of Ethiopia sed to belch forth the monsters. One ientist, -John Leo by name, declared he dragon to be a hybrid, a cross be- n an eagle and a wolf. t Canine Intelligence. d A native of Peru has vouched for the following: A native pointed out one day a huge white dog that lay be- b fore his wattled house. He declared that his dog had intelligence -af most human order. He said tha when it had broken a bone in it he had taken it to a surgeon i surgeon had set the fracture lieved it of its pain. Some mon erward, in the middle of the night, the surgeon was awakened by a great scratching at his door and by a thump- ing as of some heavy body. He slipped on a dressing gown and went down, to find the white dog in his garden with a brown dog beside it that held one leg off the ground. The surgeon's de- duction was that the white dog had brought its mpanion there f meat, Ac rdingly he dressed the leg of the injt red animal, and thereupon this two dogs licked his hands with an air of gratitude and departed slowly into the night side by side. Reins Choate and Justice Sh T\. Rufus Choate was sitting -next to Judge Hoar in the bar when Chief Jus• an al- u once, se foot, t id the nd re aft- Temperature and Atmosphere. or treat - Ace Shaw was presiding and the Suf folk docket was being called. The chief justice said something which led Mr. Choate to make a half humorous and half displeased remark .,about Shaw's roughness of look and manner, to which Judge Hoar replied, "After all, I feel a reverence for the old'chief justice." "A reverence for him, my dear fellow?" said Choate. "So do I. I bow down to him as the wild Indian does before his wooden idol. I know he's ugly, but I bow to a superior in- telllgen e."—George F. Hoar in Scrlb- ner's MgaziI.le. That a body can acquire during the night a different temperature from - that of the surrounding atmosphere has been demonstrated by an English physicist. If a thermometer is taken from the window, wrapped in cotton and placed on the ground its mercury will descend seven or eight degrees. Vegetables to Utes s imil arty situated, and be- ing bad conductors, may freeze at a time when the thermometer does not mark the freezing point—proof that the cold experienced by the pia be entirely different from the t ture of the surrounding air. temperature of plants, howev occurs when the night is cl - at this time , plant sheds throughout space :'d b may „pera pis low r, only , since heat e chilled, - whereas if the nig . • cloudy the phenomenon does not occur. This gives rise to the popular superstition that plants and buds are frozen by moonlight The Way to Float. This is the advice of an old swimmer/ to those who caunot swim: "Any hu- man being who will have the presence of mind to clasp the hands behind his back and turn the face toward the zenith may float at ease and in perfect safety in tolerably still water. When you first find yourself in deep water you haveonly to consider yourself an empty pitcher. Let your mouth and nose, and not the top of your heavy head, be thehigbest part of you and you are safer But thrust uRdone of your bony hands and down you go— turning up the handle tips over tl(e pitcher." There are (reason and logs in this. Tolerance. Tolerance is a calm, generous respect for the opinions of others, even of one's enemies. Tolerance is silent justice blended with sympathy. Tolerance al- ways implies wisdom and kindness. It seeks to convert others from error by gently raising them to higher ordeals, by leading them to broader lines of thinking, by patiently helping them to help themselves. Tolerance does not use the pattering ram of argument or the club of sarcasm or the rapier of ridicule.—Selected. rt Painful. Johnson — Does your wife speak French? Thompson—She thinks she does. "You don't speak it, do you?" "No." "Then how do you know she doesn't?" 9 watched a French waiter's face the other day when she was talking to him, and I'll be blamed if he didn't look as if he had the toothache!" Unreasonable. Magistrate (severely)—Prisoner, how did you have the audacity to break into this man's house at midnight and rob him? Prisoner (piteously)—But, your honor, I last time I was before you you wanted to know how I could have the auac ity to rob a man in broad daylight When do you expect me to get in my work? The Baby Humorists. "Of course," said Mrs. Extrygood. "you are fond of bright, precocious babies?" "Oh, yes; certainly." replied Old Batch, "but I draw the line on the supposed smart sayings made up by the parents and loaded exon the poor infants."—Baltimore American. No Encouragement Needed. Her Father—What? You say your-- engaged to Fred? I thought 1 told yo - not to give bin)any encouragement? His Daughter—I don't. Ile dossnS need any.—New Yorker. Cartons Case of Mind Reading. A very curious case is related in the Annales Psychiques. A child of seven years, in good health, lively and robust, belonging to equally healthy parents, showed a strange facility in learning all that his mother taught him. He re- cited the whole multiplication table at the first trial, solved instantly compli- cated problems and made not a single mistake in his first spelling lesson. It wes.ecion realized that the child did not iticulate by himself and did not -spell of bis own accord. He was reading his mother's mind, and he did this even when his eyes were shut and his back turned, provided only that she were near him. One day she bad the idea gf interposing a screen ' between her and the child, and there was no more calculation, no more spelling. The screen was sufficient to prevent the child from reading the mother's thoughts. A Moving Sermon. "I once had a parishioner who was a miser," said an English clergyman. "For this man's benefit I preached one Sunday a strong sermon on the neces- sity of charity, of philanthropy—a ser- mon on the duty and the joy of giving. The miser, at whom I gazed often, seemed impressed. "Next day I met him on the street "'Well, John,' I said, 'what do you think of yesterday's sermon?' "'It moved me deeply, sir,' he an- swered. 'It brought home to me so strongly the necessity of giving alms that honestly, sir, I've a great mind to turn beggar.' " Light and Heat and Eyes. _ Looking into the fire is very injurious I to the eye, particularly a coal fire. The stimulus of light and heat united soon destroys the eyes. Looking at molten iron wil.Boon destroy the sight. Read- ing in the twilight is injurious to the eyes, as they are obliged to make great exertion. Reading or sewing with a side light injures the eyes, as both eyes d should be exposed to an equal force of light Those who wish to preserve their sight should preserve their gen- eral health by correct habits of living and give their eyes just work enough, with a due degree of light. Out of Tune. A piano tuner employed by a city firm was as sen t to acertain suburb to u tune a piano. He found the instrument in good condition and not in the least need of attention. . A few days later the firm received e lette from the owner of the piano, a lady \f musical intention, stating that the piano had not been properly tuned. It was no better than before. After receiving a reprimand from his employer the hapless tuner made an- other trip to the suburbs and again tested.every note, only to find, as be- fore, no fault with the instrument. This time be told the lady so. "Yes," she said, "it does seem all right, doesn't it, when you play on it, but as soon as I begin to sing it gets all out of tune again." Costly to Admire. "Why is it that wealthy people be - some so cold and cyssical?" "They don't necessarily," answered Mr. Cumrox. "They have their enthu- siasms. The trouble is that a rich man can't admire anything without being solicited to buy it"—Washington Star. Postprandial Effulgence. "He's quite a star as an after dinner speaker, isn't he?" "Star? He's a regular moon. He be- comes brighter the fuller be gats."— Philadelphia Prase • H. We:t. He—Be candid and tell me when you want me to go. She—It's a ,couple of, hours too late for that. -Smart Set. NOTICE TO CREDITORS. . State of Minnesota, county of Dakota --ss. In probate court. - In the matter of the estate of Frances E. Poor deceased Letters testamentary on the estate of said deceased being this day granted unto George H. Nichols, of Rice County. Minnesota. It is ordered that six months from and after this date be and the same is hereby limited and allowed to creditors of said deceased in which to present their claims against said deceased to the probate court of said county ,or exatnination and allowance. It is further ordered that at s special term of said court, to be held at the probate office. in the city of Hastings, in said county,on the 4th day of Asigust a. d. 1904, at ten o'cick in the fore- noon, all claims and demands so presented against said deceased will be examined and o adjusted by said court. Ordered further that said ex- ecutor afor said, shall cause this h order t be pub- lished once to each week for three weeks successively, in The Hastings Gazette, a weekly newspaper printed and published at Hastings, in d. said1900.ocunty. Dated at Hastings, this 99th day of December, a. Byy the court. THOS. P. MORAN, [SEAL.1 143w Judge !VP/tr.:VI:L. ORDER TO EXAMINE ACCOUNTS. State of Minnesota, county of Dakota.—u. In probate court. In the matter of the estate of Julius 4. H. Schwann deceased. On reading and filing the petition of Fred Schwanz and Fred Heuer, administrators of. the estate of Julius A. H. Schwanz. deceased, representing among other things that they have fully administered said estate, and praying that a time and plaoe be axed for examining and allowing their final account of their administra- tion, and for the assignment 01 the residue of said estate to the persons entitled thereto by law. It is ordered.that said account be examin,d and petition be heard b' the judge of this court on Tuesda•, the 96th day of January, a.d. 1904, at ten o'clock a. in., at the probate office in the city of Hastings. in said county. And it in further ordered that notice thereof be given to all persons interested by publishing this order once in each week for three successive weeks prior to said day of hearing in The Haat- 4gs Gazette, a weekly newspaper printed and published at Hastings, in said county. Dated at Hastings, this 31st day of December, a. d. 1903. Bv the court. THOS. P MORAN, [Seal.] 14-3w Judge of Probate._ ORDER TO EXAMINE ACCOUNTS. State of Minnesota, county of Dakpta.—es. In robate court. In the matter of the estate gi4ogela Stein, eceased. On reading and tiling the petition of Nicholas . Stein, administrator of the estate of Angels Inconsiderate Bellow. J Stein, deceased, representing among other things that he has fully administered said estate, and praying that a time and place be fixed for examining and allowing his final ,ac of his administration, and for the assignment of the residue of said estate to the persons entitled thereto by law. It is ordered that said account be examined and petition be heard by the judge of thin court n Friday, the 29th day of January. a. d. 1904, ht ten o'clock a. m., at the probate office in the city of Hastings, in said county. And it Is further ordered that notice thereof be given to all persons interested by publishing this order on•tg each week for three successive weeks prior told day of hearing in The Hast- ily a weekly newspaper printed and published at Hastings, in Haid counsy. Dated et Hastings, this 24th day o[ December, s. d. 1908. Hy the court. THOS. P. MORAN, 'a�,t ' 19.'2[,• .lad "� p.,,t.�ty CHICHESTER'S ERGLISH PENNYROYAL PILLS • "He said he'd die if I didn'-t (parry m." "And still you refused?' "Yes. I wished to find out before promising whether he really loved me as much as that or not. Oh, Harriet, I'm p -p -perfectly miserable) He seems to be wretchedly healthy, and I d -do love him so much!"—Chicago Record - Herald. In China one an always borrow money on the strength of having a son, but nobody would advance him a cent if he had a dozen daughters. The former is responsible for the debts of his father for three generations. The latter is only responsible for the debts of her own husband. Debts ,,,t(ina. "A nun fiat walks right up to de j-` Remember you must die. Let this of reformin' de whole world." said Un - not startle you, but let it soften yon de Eben, "very often balkiat so sim- while there is yet tirne to do some Pie a matter as breakin' hisself of good in the world.—Sehooimaster, ehewin' tobacco."—Washington Star. arljf di Jr. cCHICHsTER", =GL .s Insir Gold metallic boxes, asa1.4 with blue ribbsod y Take no other. Reflss• daapsons..8011 talions and isaitattons.Bur of > . or send 4e. in stamps for meal , menials and "Rene[ Aar Ladies," tw relagists.rn MaiL 1•,•N Test P ' Sold by all Drug CSIOHs5Tla OHBIIIOAL 00. SW Madison square, PUMA, PA. MasYss tW sess.► To Cure a Cold in One Day,i. Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets.4.S i� On every Swan Maw bone sold In pmt 13 smiths. This • /e . 25C. PJ 11