Laserfiche WebLink
THE <br />ASTIN GS GAZE UTE <br />VOL. L. ---NO. 31. <br />HASTINGS. MINN.. SATURDAY. APRIL 25, 1908. <br />Si per Tear la Advance. <br />sekterw,- <br />1.444•14 <br />• <br />• <br />• <br />WHEN THE EARTN DIES <br />And When Our Other Planets and <br />Our Sun Are Also Dead. <br />STILL THE HEAVENS BLAZE. <br />The infinite Space Shall Always Be <br />Filled With Suns and Worlds and <br />Souls, For In Eternity There Can Be <br />Neither Beginning Nor End. <br />The earth was dead. The °thou <br />planets had died, one after the other. <br />The sun was extinct, but the stars <br />were still twinkling. There shall al- <br />ways be stars and worlds. <br />In the unmeasurable eternity time, <br />which is essentially relative, is deter- <br />mined by the movement of each of <br />these worlds, and in each world it is <br />felt according to the personal sense - <br />tions of their inhabitants. Each globe <br />measures its proper period of time. <br />The years of the earth are not those <br />of Neptune. Neptune's year equals 164 <br />of ours and is no longer in the abso- <br />lute. There exists no proper common <br />measure of time and eternity. <br />In the empty space time does not ex- <br />ist There are no years, no centuries, <br />but there is a way of measuring time <br />upon a revolving globe. Without peri- <br />odical movements one can have no <br />conception of time whatsoever. <br />The earth existed no longer; neither <br />did its celestial neighbor, Mars, nor <br />beautiful Venus, nor the gigantic Jupi- <br />ter, nor the strange universe of Bat - <br />urn, its rings gone, nor the Blow plan- <br />ets Uranus and Neptune, nor even <br />the sublime sun, whose rays had for <br />centuries made fertile the celestial <br />countries suspended in its light <br />The sun was a black globe, the plan- <br />ets were other black globes, and this <br />invisible system continued to course In <br />the starred immensity at the bosom of <br />the cold darkness of space. <br />From the viewpoint of life all these <br />worlds were dead, existed no longer. <br />They survived their antique history as <br />do the ruins of the dead cities of As- <br />syria, which the archaeologist discov- <br />ers in the desert and revolved dark in <br />the invisible and unknown. Every- <br />thing was covered with ice, 278 degrees <br />below zero. <br />No genius, so sage, could have <br />brought back the days of old when <br />earth sailed through space bathed in <br />light, its beautiful green meadows <br />awakening with the rays of the morn- <br />ing sun, its rivers flowing like ser- <br />pents through the green fields, its <br />woods reverberating with the songs of <br />the birds, its forests enveloped in ma- <br />jestic mystery. <br />Then all this happiness seemed eter- <br />nal. What has become of the mornings <br />and evenings, the flowers and the lov- <br />ers, the harmonies and joys, the beau- <br />ties and the dreams? All have disap- <br />peared. <br />The earth is dead, all the planets are <br />dead, the sun is extinct The solar <br />system gone. Time itself even auntie <br />lated. <br />Time flows into eternity, but eternity <br />remains, and time revives. <br />Before the earth existed, during a <br />whole eternity, there were suns and <br />worlds, humanities filled with life and <br />activity as are we today. For millions <br />and millions of years our earth did not <br />exist but the universe was no less <br />brithant After our time it will be as <br />before. Our epoch is of no impor- <br />tance. <br />The dead and cold earth cartied in <br />itself, however, an energy not lost, its <br />movement around the sun, which en- <br />ergy transformed into heat would suf- <br />fice to melt the whole globe, to reduce <br />It to vapor and to begin a new history <br />for it, which, it is true, would not last <br />long, for if this movement around the <br />ann should suddenly cease the earth <br />would fall into the sun and cease to <br />exist. It would rush toward it with <br />ever increasing speed and would reach <br />It in sixty-five days. <br />When the earth is dead, other worlds <br />will come. There will be other human- <br />ities, other Babylonians, other Thebe - <br />lane, other Athenians, other Rome& <br />other Parities, other palaces, other tem- <br />ples, other glories, other loves, other <br />lights. <br />And these new universes will disap- <br />pear in their turn, to be followed by <br />still others. At a certain time far <br />away in the future eternity all the <br />stars of the Milky Way shall rush to- <br />ward one center of gravity and form <br />an immense formidable sun, center of <br />a system, whose enormous worlds <br />shall become populated by beings liv- <br />ing in a`temperature which would seem <br />red hot to us. <br />The infinite space shall always be <br />filled with worlds and stars, souls and <br />suns, and eternity shall last forever, <br />for there can be neither beginning nor <br />Flammarion. <br />Cut His Visit Short. <br />The Duke of Wellington once wrote <br />to Dr. Hutton for information as to <br />the scientific acquirements of a young <br />officer who had been under his instruc- <br />tion. The doctor thought he could not <br />do less than answer the question ver- <br />bally and made an appointment ac- <br />cordingly. <br />Directly Wellington saw him ho <br />said: "I am obliged to you, doctor, for <br />the trouble you are taking. Is — fit <br />for the post?" <br />Clearing his throat, Dr. Hutton be- <br />gan: No man more so, my lord. I <br />can" - <br />"That's quite sufficient," said Wel- <br />lington. "I know how valuable your <br />time is. Mine Just now is equally so. <br />I will not detain you any longer. Good <br />marrIna " <br />at ii2tie cost <br />CALUMET <br />CiAKING POWDER <br />$1,00100 reward is offered to <br />any ine for any sub <br />st.,nce injurious to t:;.: health found <br />in Calumet Baking Powder. <br />Parity is a prime essential it food. <br />Calumet is madeoulyof pure, wholesome <br />ingredients corn!-Ined by skilled chemi.sts, <br />and complies with the pure food laws of <br />all states. It is the only hizh-grade <br />Baking Powder on the market Eohl at <br />a moderate prier. <br />• <br />Calumet Baking Pow,ler may be <br />freely used with the certainty that <br />made with it urviti:15 no ha rut,'.'41 <br />drugs -It is chemically crsI•reet <br />and makes Pore, W trzsienente <br />Food. <br />'1",or.errsc <br />•••• <br />Jaw <br />The True Mechanic. <br />After a man has worked in shops <br />for ten or fifteen years there is a great <br />desire for a change. Some want to go <br />out on a farm, others think that the <br />invention of something that can be <br />patented will solve the problem, while <br />others want to own and run a shop <br />themselves. The latter is really the <br />true mechanic, but not necessarily the <br />man who will get out the most or even <br />the best work while working for a <br />boss, says Charles Henry in the Work- <br />ers' Magazine. On the contrary, he <br />will often be considered the lazy man <br />by the foreman when the work Is of <br />an ever recurring character. Let, how- <br />ever, some difficulty arise in connec- <br />tion with a job or have some hard <br />proposition to meet and he will always <br />have a suggestion to offer that will <br />help to solve the problem, while the <br />ordinary man and the hustler will <br />stand around helpless and often dis- <br />interested. Ile will have the elemen- <br />tary laws of mechanics and physics at <br />his finger tips, will know enough of <br />electricity to allow him to discourse <br />upon the subject in an intelligent man- <br />ner, and he will be well posted upon <br />the mechanical progresa of the day. <br />A Dressmaker of Yarmouth. <br />In the churchyard of Caister, dose <br />to Yarmouth, is the grave of the <br />"quiet little, gentle voiced dram, - <br />maker," of whom at her death in Oc- <br />tober, 1843, the then bishop of Nor- ' <br />wich said, "I would canonize Sarah <br />Martin if I could." Yarmouth reveres <br />her to this day. A stained glass win- <br />dow has been placed to her memory <br />in the parish church, where her prayer <br />book is still preserved, while her jour- <br />nal is one or the treasures of the pub- <br />lic library in the tollhouse. Under- <br />neath this building was the miserable <br />dungeon which served as the borough <br />prison, and it was to the amelioration <br />of the lot of the wretched prisoners <br />that Sarah Martin devoted her life. <br />Earning a bare subsistence of fifteen <br />pence a day by toiling from early <br />morninglill far on into the night, she <br />yet managed to give up one day in the <br />week to her labor of love. She died in <br />poverty, but the result of her life's <br />work was the reform of the prison <br />system of Yarmouth. -London Chron- <br />icle, <br />Burned It into Memory. <br />One of the most characteristically <br />eccentric things ever done by Gelett <br />Burgess (and one of the few true sto- <br />ries of him) was to spend three or four <br />days in constructing of cardboard, <br />mica and green velvet a little model <br />of an old New England house, com- <br />plete as to windows, curtains, lawn, <br />garden, trees and even including a <br />hammock with a tiny hat and summer <br />novel and washing stretched out on a <br />clothesline on the back stoop. This <br />was for a dinner given to several lit- <br />erary friends in New York, and when <br />the coffee was served he deliberately <br />set lire to the whole farm. His ex- <br />planation was that had it been spared <br />his guests might have forgotten the <br />affair, but they would always remem- <br />ber the destruction of the house. No <br />one who ever saw the little bouse go <br />U p in smoke on its little hill of damp <br />moss will ever forget it <br />The Misplaced Comma. <br />"Some lawsuits of the highest im- <br />portance have hinged upon the right <br />placing of a comma," said a judge. <br />"When I first started to practice law <br />'a Missouri editor came to me in a peck <br />of trouble to defend him against a <br />threatened libel nit growing out of <br />faulty punctuation. He had not meant <br />to give some innocent young women <br />the slightest offense when he wrote a <br />story about 'two young men who went <br />with their girls to attend a lecture and <br />after they lett, the girls got drunk.' <br />Putting that miserable little comma <br />out of its right place did the work, as <br />It made the girls the ones who became <br />inebriated instead of their escorts. I <br />managed by proper diplomacy and the <br />publication of a neat apology to stave <br />off the damage sults, and afterward <br />my editorial friend became an expert <br />on punctuation" -Baltimore American. <br />A Warm Time Coming. <br />"I'm doinme best with the fire, air," <br />said the janitor at the door of Galley's <br />office one cold morning, "but I'm <br />afraid I can't make it very warm for <br />you. You see, sir" - <br />"Never mind," feverishly replied Gal- <br />ley, who had been out all night "My <br />wife will be here shortly, I expect"-, <br />Philadelphia Ledger. <br />DUELING STORIES, <br />Girardin's Satisfaction and a Winning <br />Choice of Weapons. <br />M. de Gimrdinthe father of the <br />statesman and author. Emile de Wear. <br />din, on one occasion entered'a place <br />where several nteu were tiring at a <br />target. A gentleman present, whom <br />M. de Girardin did not know, bit the <br />buliseye at every shot. Several by- <br />standers expressed themselves in very <br />great admiration of the gentleman's <br />precision. <br />said De Girardin. "be shoots <br />remarkably well, but it's quits a differ- <br />ent thing to hit a man in a duel from <br />hitting a piece of pasteboard." <br />The marksman overheard the remark <br />and was offended. <br />"I think you are mistaken, sir." he <br />said to De Girardin. 'I assure you that <br />if I had you before mci shouldn't miss <br />you." <br />"You can have me when you like," <br />said De (literati. <br />"Let it be immediately, then," saki <br />the other. <br />An attempt was made to patch the <br />matter up, but neither man would <br />agree to an amicable settlement Tbe <br />seconds were chosen, and the men <br />went to a locality favorable for the <br />duel. It was decided that they should <br />tire separately, and it was lett to a de- <br />dsion by lot which fired first <br />The lot fell to the mysterious marks. <br />man. He fired at M. de Girardin and <br />missed hlm. De Girardin stood still. <br />making no sign as if to flre at his an- <br />tagonist. <br />"Come, why don't you shoot?" asked <br />his seconds. <br />"Why should I shoot?" asked De Gi- <br />rardin. "There Is no reason why I <br />should kill this gentleman. I main- <br />tained that eren a crack shot could <br />easily miss hls man at twenty-five <br />paces. This gentleman maintaltied the <br />contrary. He must now be convinced <br />that he is wrong. I owe hint 00 111 will <br />for having discovered that. <br />A better method of meeting a duel- <br />ing challenge was no doubt one which <br />was employed on a certain °evasion <br />by a French statesman agnInst M vle <br />tor Noir. an illiterate bully of the press <br />In the time of the aecoud empire. 'fbe <br />statesman received from Noir. for no <br />real reason whatever. a challenge to <br />fight a duel. <br />Noir was a densely ignorant mu. <br />and nearly every word in tbe challenge <br />was misspelt. The statesman respond- <br />ed with the following letter: <br />Dear Sir—You have called me out with• <br />out any good reason. I have therefore <br />the choice of weapons. T choose the <br />spelling book, and you are a dead man. <br />The duel was never fought. -London <br />Tit -Bits. <br />The Moabite Steno. <br />The so called Moabite stone wee dis- <br />covered by the Rev. F. Klein pi 1868 <br />among the rains of Milian, the ancient <br />Dibon. The stone Iva' of black ba- <br />salt, rounded at the top and bottom. <br />two feet broad, three feet ten inches <br />high and fourteen inches in thickness, <br />but was unfortunately broken by the <br />Arabs, whose cupidity had been arous- <br />ed by the interest that was taken in it <br />by the explorers. The fragments were <br />afterward collected and laboriously <br />fitted together, and the stone now <br />stands in the Louvre at Paris. The <br />inscription of thirty-four lines is in <br />Flebrew-Phoeniclan characters and ap- <br />pears to be a record of Mesha, king of <br />Moab, mentioned in II Kings 111, refer- <br />ring to his successful revolt against <br />the king of Israel. -New York Ameri- <br />can. <br />A Model Friend. <br />What true friendship consists in de- <br />pends on the temperament of the mu <br />who has a friend. It hi related that at <br />the funeral of Mr. X., who died ex. <br />tremely poor, the usually cold blooded <br />Squire Tightfist was much affected. <br />You thought a great deal of bita, I <br />suppose?" some one asked him. <br />"Thought a great deal of him? I <br />should think I did. There was a true <br />friend! He never asked me to lend <br />him a cent, though I knew ivell enough <br />he was starving to death!" <br />Too Expensive. <br />Two little girls who were taken to <br />Nee "Othello" were much impressed by <br />the death scene. <br />"I wonder whether they kill a lady <br />every night?" asked one. <br />"Why, of course not," said the other. <br />"They just pretend tol It would be <br />too expensive to really kill a lady every <br />I THE ENCHANTED MESA. <br />Story of Great Muster Which Wiped <br />Out the Population. <br />The story of the enchanted mesa <br />wu but a tradition when In 1541 the <br />epeeteree neer vielted the pueblo of <br />Acoma, in what isenow Valencia coun- <br />ty, N. M. Powerful tribes inhabited <br />the region. These tribes or nations <br />were constantly at war with each oth- <br />er, which accounts for the fortified <br />character of the villages of the na- <br />time. The Quotes, whose descend- <br />ants now occupy Acoma, held this re- <br />gion and dwelt in small fortified towns, <br />the capital of which was Acoma. It <br />was not, however, the Acoma of today, <br />but a city perched upon the top of the <br />great rock now called Mesa Encan- <br />tads. It was tbo magnificent city of <br />the nation, and there dwelt the great <br />men of the tribe, together with their <br />families. <br />The rock then, as now, was unseal - <br />able, save at the one point where a <br />narrow and precipitous trail led up <br />the dizzy height While not the moat <br />convenient dwelling place, for neither <br />water nor vegetation was to be found <br />upon the summit It was safe from <br />the attacks of foe& One man at the <br />top of the trail could defend the city <br />against the warriors of the entire west <br />One day, while a large number of the <br />inhabitants were at work In the fields <br />on the plain below or attending to the <br />affairs of the tribe in the various neigh- <br />boring villages, something within the <br />rock or In the earth beneath it awoke <br />to life and motion. There was a heav• <br />Jug, a squirming and a ehivering of <br />the great rock, and, with a mighty <br />noise, It parted in twain, and a portion <br />fell in fragments to the plain below. <br />Such persons as were carried down <br />In the debris were crushed to death. A <br />worse fate remained for those left <br />prisoners on the top of the mesa, for <br />that which fell carried away the nar- <br />row trail, the only means of ascent <br />and descent The stranded ones per- <br />ished from thirst and starvation. The <br />present Acoma family are the descend- <br />ants of disaster. Ethnologists who vire <br />ited the top of the rock some years ago <br />found unmistakable evidences that It <br />had once been the site of habitation. <br />The story of the disaster bad previous <br />to that time been discredited and con- <br />sidered but an idle Indian legend. The <br />discovery of the ancient ruins, how- <br />ever, seemed couflruiatory of the tale, <br />and it has since been credited. -Den- <br />ver Field and Farm. <br />HARDNESS OF DIAMONDS. <br />The Stones Can et' forced by Pres- <br />sure Into Steel Blocks. <br />A word as to the hardness of dia- <br />monds. They vary much in this re- <br />spect Even different parts of the <br />same crystal differ in their resistance <br />to cutting and grinding. So hard is <br />diunond In comparison to glass that a <br />suitable splinter of diamond will plane <br />curls off a glees plate as a carpenter's <br />tool will plane shavings off a deal <br />board. Another experiment that will <br />illustrate its hardness is to place a <br />diamond on the flattened end of a <br />conical block of steel and upon It <br />bring another similar cone of steel. If <br />I force them together with hydraulic <br />power, I can force the stone into the <br />steel blocks without injuring the dia- <br />mond in the least. The pressure which <br />I hare brought to bear in this erperl- <br />ment has been equal to 170 tons a <br />square Inch of diamond. <br />Tbe only serious rival of the diamond <br />In hardness 18 tbe metal tantalum. In <br />an attempt to bore a hole through a <br />plate of tbls metal a diamond drill <br />was used. revolving at the rate of <br />5,000 revolutions n minute. This whirl- <br />ing force was continued ceaselessly for <br />three days and eights, when it was <br />found that only a stnall point one- <br />fourth of n millimeter deep had been <br />drilled. and It was a moot point whicb <br />bad suffered most damage, the dia- <br />mond or the tantalum. <br />After exposure for some time to the <br />Bun many diamonds glow in a dark <br />room. One beautiful green diamond in <br />my collection when phosphorescing in <br />I ?annul gives almost as much light <br />u a candle. and you can easily read by <br />lb rays. But the time has hardly come <br />when we can use diamonds as domes. <br />tic illuminants. -131r William Crookes <br />In North American Review. <br />Good Reasoning. <br />"I don't see, madam, how you can <br />expect us to pay any claim under your <br />linsband's accident policy." <br />"Well, you see it was this way: <br />When be asks which it was, a boy or <br />a girl, and the nurse said that be was <br />the father of triplets, he dropped. <br />Now, his death was due to an acci- <br />dent." <br />"How do you make that out?" <br />"It was an accident of birth." -New <br />York Press, <br />Stropping • Reser. <br />In stropping a razor the blade should <br />be drawn across the strop from the <br />heel to the point, at the same time go <br />- <br />frig the full length of the strop. In <br />shaving this motion should be reversed, <br />the blade traveling from point to heel. <br />The reason of this la that the edge of <br />the blade has tiny, sawlike teeth, and <br />tbe oppoeite movements use these to <br />the best advantage. <br />Opened by Mistake. <br />Absentmindedly the young woman <br />yawned. <br />"Pardon me," she said, "I didn't <br />mean to do that" <br />"I sae." responded Mr. Lingeriong. <br />"Opened by mistake." -Chicago Trib- <br />An African fat used for domestic <br />purposes is the oil of a species of bee - <br />3s. It is like hardened cocoanut oil. <br />ROYAL <br />Baking Powder <br />The only Raking Powder made <br />with Royal Grape Crean of Tartar <br />—made from g'11111011— <br />Insures healthful and <br />delicious food for every <br />home—every day <br />Salem* yore food mist <br />ard phosidate of lin <br />G P <br />AMERICAN CONSULS. <br />--- <br />Their Duties Are Misunderstood by <br />Many esf•Our Citizens. <br />In ahnOst every city and town in <br />Etitope-or all over the world, for that <br />matter, if the city is of *ay size -there <br />is an American consul or eonsul gen- <br />eral. And, while the °dice of these <br />functionaries is commercial in reality, <br />looking after the imports and the ex- <br />ports between our country and others, <br />still they take a friendly interest in <br />American citizens traveling and are al- <br />ways ready to go out of their way even <br />to be obliging in personal things. I <br />explain this somewhat in detall, says <br />an experienced traveler in the Deline- <br />ator, as so many people, upecially <br />women, seem to have a notion that a <br />consul is created for their especial ben- <br />efit And one of the most serious trou- <br />bles these men have is with those who <br />if their money runs short expect the <br />consul to furnish them with some and <br />often get insulting and threatening if <br />it is not done. The same may be said <br />in regard to our ambassador, for, <br />while their positions are political and <br />diplomatic, their offices are always <br />open. and any information is always <br />cheerfully given in case an American <br />is in difficulty. <br />There are always certain public re- <br />ception days at the homes of our con- <br />suls and our ambassadors, to which it <br />is not difficult to obtained invitations. <br />In fact, It is often announced in the <br />daily papers that Americans in general <br />are welcome, say on days like Thanks- <br />giving, Fourth of July; -and so on. In <br />this way it is possible for one to see <br />something of the lives of one's com- <br />patriots away from home. <br />POISONING AS A FINE ART. <br />Scale of Prices Submitted to the Vene- <br />tian Council of Ten. <br />Venetian poisoners first came into <br />notoriety in the II fteenth century. At <br />that period the manta for poisoning <br />had rLsen to such a height that the <br />governments of tbe states were form- <br />ally recognizing secret assassination <br />by poison and considering the removal <br />of emperors, princes and powerful no- <br />bles by this method. <br />The notorious COUtlell of ten met to <br />consider such plans, and an account <br />and record of their proceedings still ex- <br />ists, giving the number of those who <br />voted for and who voted against the <br />proposed removal, the reasons for the <br />assassination and the sum to be paid <br />for its execution. <br />Thus these conspirators quietly ar- <br />ranged to take the tires of many prom- <br />inent individuals, and when the deed <br />was executed it was registered on the <br />margin of their official record by the <br />significant word "factum." <br />On Dec. 15, 1543, John of Raguba <br />offered the council a selection of poi- <br />sons and declared himself ready to re- <br />move any person whom they deemed <br />objectionable out of the way. He <br />calmly stated bis terms, which for the <br />first successful case were to be a pen- <br />sion of 1,500 ducats a year, to be In- <br />creased on the execution of further <br />services. <br />The presidents Guoiando Duoda and <br />Pietro Gulami placed this matter be- <br />fore tbe council on Jan. 4, 1544, and <br />on a division It was reserved to accept <br />this patriotic offer and to experiment <br />first on the Emperor Maximilian. John, <br />who had evidently reduced poisoning <br />to a fine art, submitted afterward a <br />regular graduated tariff to tbe council. <br />The highest fee was for poisoning the <br />sultan, 500 ducats; for the king of <br />Spain, 150 ducats, including the ex- <br />penees of the journey; for the Duke of <br />Milan, 00 ducats; for the Marquis of <br />Mantua, 50 ducats; for the pope, 180 <br />ducats. -Health. <br />"Peleres Jack." <br />Near the mouth of Pelorus sound, <br />on the Nelson side of Cook strait, is <br />the home of a remarkable sea animal <br />known throughout New Zealand as <br />"Pelorus Jack." He is gray in color, <br />about fourteen feet in length, and Ws <br />pastime is to wait for coastal steamer,, <br />and to escort them for several miles <br />on their journey. As a boat approach- <br />es "Jack" may be seen heading to- <br />ward ber to take up his accustomed <br />position beside or in front of the bow <br />of the vessel. There, sometimes for <br />twenty minutes, he borers round, rush- <br />ing so quickly from side to side that <br />the eye can scarcely follow his move- <br />ments. When he considers he has gone <br />far enough, with a last sudden plunge <br />he dives once more and for the last <br />time, disappearing In a whirl of foam. <br />to 1* seen no more that trip. --Sydney <br />New& <br />China's Euler Rabbit. <br />One day, says a Chinese legend, the <br />great god Buddha WWI very hungry. <br />There were no restaurants in the neigh- <br />borhood. A little rabbit perceived the <br />god's plight and, hopping up to him, <br />said: <br />"Eat me, 0 Buddluir <br />Touched by such unselfish devotion, <br />the god transported bunny to the moon, <br />where be still sits in the top of a tree <br />pounding in a mortar the herbs that go <br />to make up the water of life. <br />At the spring feast in China ever <br />since that time people give each other <br />moon shaped cakes stamped with the <br />Image of a rabbit <br />llo Chilly. <br />"I feel," said the Boston girl, "that I <br />have been on earth before In some re- <br />mote period." <br />"The glacial, maybe," ventured the <br />feckless ann.—Louisville CourieNleu& <br />ALL <br />The OoneertIrta. <br />Tile acoordion, which was a develop. <br />meet of a previously existing aeolina, <br />was invented In 1829 by a Viennese <br />named Damian and consists, al ever, <br />one knows, of a small pair of bellows <br />and a range of keys which regulate the <br />admission of wind to rnetal reeds. The <br />accordion sounds notes in one key only. <br />The concertina proper was Invented ou <br />the same date by Charles Wheatstone, <br />who later became a famous man of <br />science. It seems curious that a man <br />whose reputation rests chiefly on his <br />electrical work and discoveries, who <br />was one of the earliest men of science <br />to make experiments in connection <br />with submarine cables and who, more- <br />over, was an extraordinarily skillful <br />decipherer of cryptographic writings, <br />should also have dabbled hi musical <br />Inventions. But, as a matter of fact, <br />Wheatstone's musical work preceded <br />his scientific discoveries. Re went <br />straight from school to the business of <br />manufacturing musical instruments, <br />and it was in 1829, at the age of twen- <br />ty-seven, that he took out his patent <br />for the concertina. But he was more <br />interested in the scientific principles <br />on which musical instruments are con- <br />structed than in music itself, and his <br />acoustical and musical ezperlments <br />soon drew him into the path which led <br />to his many electrical discoveries. - <br />London Globe. <br />An Emended Sign. <br />Many a householder at the mercy of <br />the painter will find a bond of sympa- <br />thy with the students of Stanford uni- <br />versity in the incident taken from the <br />San Francisco Chronicle. The score of <br />fraternity houses on the campus were <br />In the process of being cleaned up in <br />preparation for the receptions and <br />luncheons to be given to visitors on <br />the day of the big football game. A <br />man got the contract to paint one of <br />the houses white with the understand- <br />ing that the job must be done and dry <br />by a certain day. After making a rush <br />start the painter asked permission to <br />hang out Ids sign. His request was <br />granted, and he put up a conspicuous <br />announcement over the front porch, <br />"These Premises Being Painted by <br />Blank Blank." <br />Then the work dragged. He would <br />come one day and stay away two. So <br />the impatient collegians added to the <br />sign until the announcement read: <br />"These Premises Being Painted by <br />Blank Blank, Now and Then." <br />A Calm Winn's& <br />A lawyer was cross examining a wit- <br />ness with a view to getting him mud- <br />dled in his testimony. The following <br />questions and answers occurred: <br />"Did you see the plaintiff faint a <br />short time ago?" <br />"Yes, air." <br />"People turn pale when they faint, <br />don't they?" <br />"No, air; not always." <br />"What! Do you mean to tell me that <br />a person can faint and not turn pal*? <br />Did you ever hear of such a case?" <br />"Yes, sir." <br />"Did you ever see such a can?" <br />"I did, sir." <br />"When?" <br />"About a year ago, sir." <br />"Who was it?" <br />"Twas a negro, sir." <br />The lawyer excused the witness. - <br />Cincinnati Commercial Tribune. <br />Taunting. <br />Old Noah bunted up a barrel stave <br />and started off for the darn of the ark. <br />"Where are you going?" asked hire. <br />Noah. <br />"I am going to whale that boy Ham," <br />replied Noah, with a frown. <br />"But, my dear, the lad is only pIny. <br />ing on his banjo." <br />"Yea, but it is the tune b• is play- <br />ing." <br />"And what le the tuner <br />"'Walt Till tbe Bun Mau, Is"' <br />--Chicano News. <br />A CUSTOM HOUSE TALE. <br />The American Who Landed in Ger- <br />many With a Box of Candy. <br />Germany is jealous of the foreign <br />candy maker and exacts a rigorous toll <br />upon anything in the shape of confec- <br />tionery that comes across its borders. <br />Ignorant of this, one of Uncle Sant's <br />eons disembarked from a liner at a Ger- <br />man port carrying in his hand a five <br />pound box of candy bearing a New <br />York trademark. At sight of the box <br />the Teutonic customs officials exhibited <br />marked activity and prepared to seize <br />upon it. <br />"Not for mine," said the American. <br />"I won't give up a sou. I'd rather eat <br />the stuff here and now." He opened <br />the box and commenced to dispose of <br />its contents without delay. Everybody <br />In sight was offered a handful. NobodY <br />declined except the customs officer, <br />who said blandly that he had not a <br />sweet tooth. The traveler himself ate <br />many pieces. It was not long before <br />the last bit had been eaten. <br />As soon as the box was empty the <br />official seized the traveler by the arm. <br />"The gentleman," he announced, "will <br />accompany me to the bureau, where <br />we'll make out his bill for duty. Come. <br />It is at the other end of the dock." <br />"Never!" said the American. "You <br />have no right to charge me duty. I <br />didn't bring it in. I'll see my consul <br />right away, and he'll send a big fleet <br />and bombard this blooming town." <br />"Softly," said the officer. "You'll pay <br />,duty, all right. There are fifteen wit- <br />nesses to prove that that candy of <br />yours was consumed on German soil." <br />The dtity was paid, and the consul <br />has not ea -.Vet been consulted. -Phila- <br />delphia Ledger. <br />Ancient Enamels. <br />It Is certain that glazes having the <br />composition of good enamels were <br />manufactured at a very early date. <br />Excellent glazes are still preserved, and <br />some of the bricks which have been <br />found among the ruins of Babylon <br />have been ascribed to the seventh or <br />eighth century B. C. The glaze on the <br />Babylonian bricks was found upon ex- <br />amination to have a base of soda glass, <br />or silicate of sodium. Glazes of a simi- <br />lar character were also manufactured <br />by the Egyptians as truly as the sixth <br />dynasty. There can be little doubt thet <br />the Greeks and Etruscans were also <br />acquainted with the art of enameling. <br />-New York American. <br />The Living Present. <br />He that hath so many causes of joy, <br />and so great, is very much in love with <br />sorrow and peevishness who loses all <br />these pleasures and chooses to sit ' <br />down upon his little handful of thorns. <br />Enjoy the blessings of this day if God <br />suds them, and the evils of it bear <br />patiently and sweetly, for this day only <br />is ours. We are dead to yesterday, <br />and we are not yet born to the morrow. <br />But if we look abroad and bring into <br />one day's thoughts the evil of many, <br />certain and uncertain, what will be <br />and what will never be, our load will <br />be as intolerable as it is unreasonable. <br />--Jeremy Taylor. <br />Fountain Pens. <br />It Is a popular fallacy that fountain <br />P101 ars quite a modern invention. As <br />a matter of fact, an old work of ref- <br />erence published in 1795 contains an il- <br />lustration of a fountain pen the ap. <br />pearance of which is very much like <br />those sold at the present time. lts <br />construction, however, was somewhat <br />elaborate and clumsy, the pen consist- <br />ing of various pieces of metal which <br />bad to be *crewed and unscrewed be- <br />fore the pen could be used. <br />The Sign of Wedlock. <br />She -What la the proper formula for <br />a wedding announcement? lie -I know <br />what is ought to be. She -What? lie - <br />"Be it known by these presents." -Bal - <br />anon American. <br />Don't imagine you are a good con- <br />versationalist just because you talk • <br />good &al. -Atchison Globe. <br />