0001 - Laserfiche WebLink

Home Browse Search

llicitsTicwl3oeietl ASTIN GS AzEnI1T1. VOL. L. ---NO. 33. MAY FIRES. Ancient Scotch Custom Which Involved Human Sacrifice. Sir John Sinclair's "Statistical Ac- count of Scotland" contains notices of many old customs, which still contin- ued to be observed in the Highlands, though they were even then fast dying out. From the eleventh volume of that great work, which was published in 1791 and the succeeding years, we learn, on the authority of the minister of Callender, Perthshire, that the boys of the township assembled in a body upon the moors on May day and pro- ceeded to dig a circular trench, leaving the soil in the center undisturbed, so as to form a low table of green turf suf- ficient in size to accommodate the whole party. They lighted a fire and prepared a custard of milk and eggs and a large oatmeal cake, which they baked upon a stone placed in the embers. When they had eaten the custard, they divided the cake into as many equal portions as there were persons in the assembly and daubed one of those pieces with charcoal until it was perfectly black. They then placed all the pieces of cake together in a bonnet, and each in turn drew one blindfolded, the holder of the bonnet being entitled to the last piece. The boy who drew the blackened por- tion was destined to be sacrified and was compelled to leap three times through the flames. Although the ceremony had degen- erated into a mere pastime for boys, it is evident that it must once upon a time have involved the actual sacrifice of a human being in order to render the coming summer fruitful.—Gentle- man's Magazine. A QUICK TOUCH. She Needed Money and Bent a Mes- sage That Would Fetch It. A day or two ago a woman entered a suburban telegraph office and said to the receiver of messages that she de- sired to telegraph her husband, who was away lu the country, to ask htm for money. He pointed her to the counter supplied with blanki and told her the rate for a dozen words. She struggled away for a quarter of an hour and then handed in the follow- ing: "Won't you please send me £5 by next post?" "I don't know whether that will do or not." she said as she felt for her purse. "If you were to receive such a telegram from your wife, would yon forward the money?' "Well—well, I might," he replied in doubtful tones. "Now, you wait. I don't like the telegram at all, because I tried to keep it within twelve words. I'll write an- other." She tore it up, walked over to the counter and in three minutes handed in a new one reading: "Am out of food and fuel and want £5 as soon as you can get it here. If yon can't spare it I'll pawn the parlor carpet" "That would bring the money from me," said the counter clerk as he read • the lines and marked the number of words. "Then it will from him. Send it quick."—London Tit -Bits. Investigating Grandpa. A grandfather, well known in the English house of commons, was chat- ting amicably with his little grand- daughter, who was snugly ensconced on his knee. "What makes your hair so white, grandpa?" the little miss queried. "I am very old, my dear; I was in the ark," replied his lordship, with a painful disregard of the troth. "Oh, yon are Noah?' "No." "Are you Shem, then?" "No, I am not Shem." "Are you Ham?" "No" "Then," said the little one, who wan fast nearing the limit of her Biblical knowledge, "yon must be Japheth." A negativ reply was given to this query also, fo the old gentleman in- wardly won what the outcome would be. "But, grandpa, if you are not Noah or Shem or Ham or Japheth yon must he a beast!" The Evil Eye. The "evil eye" was one of the many superstitions that at one time beset humanity in the time of its Ignorance. - It was believed throughout the middle ages that certain persons had the pow- er of cursing you by their glances, of subjecting you to the fascination which unopposed, blighted and destroyed you. Amulets of various forms were used against this much dreaded power as well as certain practices, such as laugh- ing, spitting and turning a somersault. —New York American. Doing Without the Dot. The small letter "1" was formerly written without the dot. The dot was introduced in the fourteenth century to disinguish "I" from "e" in hasty and indistinct writing. The letter "t" was originally- used where the letter "J" is now employed. The distinction between "I" and "j" was introduced by the Dutch printers at a comparatively recent date, and the "j" was dotted because the "I," from which it was de- rived, was written with a dot. Valu. of Religion. "Some people," said the Rev. Mr. Goodwin, "can never be made to ap- preciate the value of religion," "That's right," replied Mainchantz, the merchant; "they don't know how to catch the church trade at all."—Phll- adelnhia Press. t, MINNESOTA HISTORICAL SOCIETY. HASTINGS. MINN.. SATURDAY. MAY 9, 1908. $1,000.00 For Any Substance Injurious to Health Found in Calumet Baking Powder "Best By Test" The Only High Grade Baking Powder Sold at a Moderate Pries. Complies with all STATE and NATIONAL Pure Food Laws. Ail Grocers Are Authorized to Cuarantee This The RELIGIOUS HATRED. Intense Bitterness That Divide Islam and Hindooism. It is difficult to express the eterna and inevitable hatred and detestatio which bare always existed between th Mohammedan and the Htndoo in India It is often forgotten by critics that th differences between the Mohammed an's religion and the Englishman's are minute compared with those that divide Islam and Hindooism. They of the east take their religion much more seriously than we of the west, and 1 the eyes of Islam the dog of a Chri tian is far better than the swine of Hindoo. The Pathans of the northwestern frontier—keen, hardy and relentless fighters, without education and with out the wish for ft—may stand as a type of the Mohammedans. They are kept from the throat of Hindustan only by the presence of the British government. If restraint were re- moved from the Mohammedan the Hindoos would go down like grain be- fore the sickle, and the Pathans would turn India into one widespread hell. The first to fly would be our friend the baba. Yet be is precisely the man who today does all be can to make British rule in India difficult Were there any chance of his succeeding agitation would promptly cease. Grim indeed would be the silence of the Bengali press about the moral delin- quencies of the white man. The Brah- man agitator knows his Englishman and understands exactly how far he may be trusted to go doggedly on with his ungrateful work. I once saw a curious instance of the contempt in which the educated Ben- gali baba is held by men of his own blood. Toward the close of 1902 I was traveling up to the Durbar at Deihl and happened to be in the dining car on the three toot Rajputana-Malwa railroad. A well known rajpnt asked if he might join me at dinner. I was ted deli h and found 8 him a most inter- esting companion. From first to last nothing could exceed his courtesy. But in pausing In the midst of a sentence and apologizing to me he leaned back in his chair and stretched out his arm behind him, barring the narrow pas- sageway. A well to do Bengali babu was stopped by the outstretched arm. The rajput then called the Bengali ugly things. He told him that he was one of a filthy and seditious lot of cow- ards, mangy curs that bit the band that fed them, and he finished by say- ing that, could he have his own way, he would subject the whole lot of them to a certain torture whose very men- tion made the wretched babu a shade grayer. I never saw encs a spectacle of shivering terror. With a final sneer, the rajpat told his victim to go, and then he turned back to the table with a pleasant smile.—Perceval Landon in World's Work. The French "Mrs, Malaprop." Canno. the French "Mrs. Malaprop," s does not amuse so much by the con- fusion of his words as by the quaint- ness and unintended plainness of his n remark~. Ile entered the service of a e wen known doctor, who, after Callao . 1 had been buying hay for his horses for e' awhile. made tip his mind that the hay - Was worthless. "That Is very poor hay that you've been buying." the doctor complained. "But the horses eat it, sir," said Callao. "No matter. It's bad hay." n "Yee, sir," said Cal' -to respectfully. s- "I'll change it. 1 know you are a a much better judge of hay than the horses are!" One day the bell rang. and Celine came In. "A pntient has arrived, sir." be re- • ported. "An old patient or a new one?" asked the doctor. "New one, of course, sir." said Ce - lino. "The old ones never come back!" Callao admired very much the beau- tiful teeth of a lady among his mas- ter's patients. "Ab!" be exclaimed. "Her teeth are as fresh and sound and white as a newborn baby's!" An Interesting Experiment. That the earth revolves on its axis can be proved by a simple experiment Fill a medium sized bowl nearly full of water and place it upon the floor of a room that is not exposed to jarring from the street. Upon the surface of the water sprinkle a coating of lycopo- dium powder. Then take powdered charcoal and draw a straight black line two inches long upon the coating. The line should be north and south. After this is done lay upon the floor a stick so that it will be exactly paral- lel with the charcoal line. Any sta- tionary object In the room will an- swer as well, provided it is parallel with the line. If the bowl is left un- disturbed for several hours it will be seen that the black mark has turned toward the parallel object and has moved from east to west in a direc- tion opposite to the movement of the earth on Its axis. This proves that the earth in revolving has carried the water with it, but the powder on the surface has been left a little behind. On the Other Side. • A British soldier out walking with his son saw an old blind beggar with the inscription on his chest, "I Fought at Waterloo" The soldier said, with deep feeling: "Give him something. He helped to save your country." The chlld dropped some silver into the beggar's cap, and the old man gratefully replied: "Mere( blen, monsieur!"—London DN. Idiomatic English. Mrs, Fremont, In a sketch of her fa- ther, Senator Benton, tells tbe follow- ing story of the French bishop at 8t Louis at the time of the pnrcbass of Louisiana. She says: It was a point of honor among the older Freocb not to learn English. bot the bishop decided that It would be better to acquire it, especially for nae from the pulpit. To force himself Into the familiar practice of the lan- guage he secluded himself for awhile with the family of an American farm. er, where he would bear no French. The experiment proved very success- ful. Soon he had gained a sufficient fluency to deliver a sermon in English. Senator Benton was present wben It was to be given. and his feelings may be imagined as the bishop. n refined and polished gentleman, annouio&-d: "My friends, I'm right down glad to see such a smart chance of folks here today." Lincoln's History of Himself. When Abraham Lincoln was elected to congress Charles Lanmau. then editor of the Congressional Record. ac- cording to the regular enatuat, for- warded to Mr. Lincoln no well as t' all other members elect a blank to I" filled out with facts and dates which might be made the basis for a bin graphical sketch In the directory. Mr. Lincoln's blank was returned prompt ly, filled up In his own handwriting with the following information: "Born Feb. 12, 1809. In Hardin coun ty, Ky. "Education, defective. "Profession, lawyer. "Military service. captain of volnn- teers in the Black Hawk war. "Offices held: Postmaster at a very small office, four times a member of the Illinois legislature and elected to the lower house of the nett congress." Ancient Waterworks. Hezekiah, king of Judah, wbo reigned in the years 717 to 688 B. O., wu a pioneer in constructing a system of waterworks, bringing water into the city of Jerusalem. In the holy book we read: "He made the pool and con- duit and brought the water into the city, stopping the upper part of Glboo. and brought it straight down to the west side of the elty of David. And Hezeklatt prospered in all his worts." From the "pools of Solomon," near Bethlehem, water wu conveyed to Jerusalem, a distance of six or seven miles, through a conduit of earthen pipe about ten Inches in diameter. The pipe was Incased within two stones, hewn out to fit It, then covered over with rough stones cemented Wisest. Eveu in those days "boil the water" was a well known Injunction. Alphabetical, Two commercial travelers In a rail- way carriage entered Into coevetsa- tion. Oue of them tried hard to make the other understand something, but be was either very hard of bearing or slow in believing. At last his friend lost bis temper and exclaimed: "Why, tllea't you see? It's as plain as A B CI" "That may be," said the oust; 'but, you see, I am D 111 F." MEXICO CITY POLICE. Street Lanterns That Keep Them Vigi— lant at Night. "When 1 visited Mexico," said an artist, "1 found innumerable things of Interest, but that which gained my notice particularly was the police sys- tem. In the City of Mexico the pollee at night are stationed at short inter- vals apart in the street Each police- man has a lantern, which is placed on a stand in the center of the street It 1e his duty to retnain in easy striking distance of this lantern at all times, so that he will be on hanid in case of an emergency. "Any person who is able to reach the lamp and lift it from its book be- fore the policeman Interferes iseutitled to a reward of $500. Any policeman who loses his lantern la subject to in- stant end dishonorable dismissal. This is to insure constant rigilance on their part and to require their presence at a certain point at all times. At first 1 regarded the thing as a joke, and 1 tried to get possession of the pollee lantern. But then 1 found that I was greatly mistaken. Not once, although I exercised extreme caution, was 1 quick enough for the policeman on watch. "The City of Mexico Is one of the Crest policed communities in the world. Policemen are always on hand when 1+ +1 one requires them, and It is virtually impossible for desperadoes to operate in the open."—New York Telegram. A SUICIDE'S HAND. 1 1 The Queer Superstition That Used to Prevail In England. In former times it was a common no- tion that 1f a sick person could only Ouch the hand of a suicide he or she would be cured. This superstition was especially common in the west of Eng- land. In Cornwall touching a suicide's hand was said to have once cured a young man who had been afflicted with many tumors from his birth. A sim- ilar superstition regarding the touch of executed criminals has been widely prevalent and has often been recorded. Robert Hunt In his "Romauces of the West of England" says that he once saw a young woman led on to the scaffold at Newgate in order to have a wen touched by the band of a man who had just been executed, At Northampton of old the hangmau is said to have had a regular fee for according a similar "privilege" to suf- ferers from like disorders. Even the co®n of a sulcide.,may have curative value. There le a Devonshire belief to the effect that If any one suffering from disease can manage to throw a white handkerchief ou such a coffin at the time of Its interment the disease will vanish as the handkerchief decays. Mach superstitious value has also been attached to the knots of the rope used either by a suicide or In the execution of a criminal. Work of the Farmer. Tbe countless millions of our popula- tion are fed and clothed by the Ameri- can farmer. The grain waving in golden beauty upon the great plains of the west, the cotton drifting like sum- mer snow upon the fields of the south, freight the fleets of nations and loose their sails, thread the continents with track of steel. till the earth with the roar of trains and heap for trade and commerce and useful art those stores that make a nation great Where are the sinews of our strength if they are not found in our great, diversified agri- cultural products? What victorious hosts ever wnved as joyous banners as those that limit above the tasseled maize from the snows of Maine to the spicy grove of California? What spirit of beauty hovers above southern fields wben fleecy bolls uncover to crown "King Cotton!"—Hon. Ezekiel S. Can. dler, Jr., of Mississippi in House of Representatives. A Mole Catcher. A farm manager at Fodderty, Ding- wall, Scotlaud, watching a mole catch- er at work, saw sea gulls hovering over and occasionally alighting upon a turnip field in which the observer and others were at work. A. particularly large and handaome bird attracted his attention by the graceful way it floated slowly over the drills, intently scan- ning the surface of the ground. Sud- denly, steadying itself a moment, it dropped, dug its bill into the heaving ground and rose with a mole for its prey. Resting a few minutes, it grace- fully began again a further search for prey. In a few minutes a second mole was unearthed, The White Evening Waistcoat Anything that breaks through the gloomy, funereal, waitereal aspect of male evening drew is to be commend- ed. But practically, as a general rule, the white evening waistcoat cannot be effectively worn much atter the age of twenty-one. Black, It is well known, diminishes the proportions, but white undoubtedly Increases them. I see men whom I have hitherto considered to be slim appear in white evening waist- coats and look absolutely corpulent— London Graphic. A Good Reason. Pearl—They thought at first they would be married In Holland. Ruby— And what changed their minds? Pearl —Why, they beard that old shoes lu Holland weighed from two to six pounds each.—Exchange. Easily Settled. Norse—Doctor, a sponge Is missing. Possibly you sewed it ap inside the patient Eminent Burgeon—Thank yon, Remind me to add 110 to the bill for material: Puck. SI per Tear to Advent*. Where the finet biscuit, cake, hot -breads, crusts or puddings are required `loyal is indispensable. OYAM Ba ciar Powder Altrol 'te &Pare Not only for. rich or fine food or for special times or service. Royal is equally valuable in the preparation of plain, substantial, every -day foods, for all occa- sions. It makes the food more tasty, nutritious and wholesome. The Man Thee :Mndo Niagara. %'ben the iiia to5spenslou bridge was throwu over Niagi t:a there was n great and tuniultutrtts npr•oung ceremony, such as the Alltetrir its love, and many of the great ones of the United States assembled to do lienor to the occasion, and among them was Itoscoe Conkllug. Conkling was one of the most brilliant public men wIon, America bas pro- duced—a awn of commanding, even beautiful, presence and of perhaps un- paralleled vnnity. Ile had been called (by an opponeatr n human peacock. After the ceremonies attending the opening of the bridge had been con- cluded Conkltng, with many others,' was at the railway station waiting to depart; but, though otbere were there. be did not mingle with them, but strut- ted and plumed himself for their ben- efit, posing that they might get the full effect of all his majesty. One of the station porters was so impressed that. stepping up to another who was hurrying by trundling a load of lu;-gage, he jerked bis thumb in Conkiing's dlrootten and— "Who's that feller?" he naked. "Is he the man ns built tate bridge?" The other studied the great man a moment. "Thunder! No," said he. "He's the man as made the falls."—H. Perry Robinson in Putnam's Magazine. Had a Treat For His Wife. Dr. GeorgeHarvie y, a local veter- inary physician, was called to a stable not long ago to minister to a horse that was down with colic. It was a serious case, and the doctor saw that the only way to save the horse would be to insert a tube In its side and allow the gas on its stomach to escape. Just because he thought It would star- Ue the owner of his horse Harvey struck a match and lighted the gas at the end of the tube. Tbe man didn't say much at the time, but he was prop- erly impressed. He had never heard of using a horse for an Illuminating plant. The next day when Dr. Har- vey came around to see how the horse was getting along—it was all over the colic then—the owner tapped him on the shoulder. "My wife was away yesterday," he said, "but she's home now- Just light up the horse again, will you? 1 want her to see IL"—Cleveland Plain Dealer. Chinese Sun and Moon. In China the sun and moon are brother and slater. The moon is the elder brother, who looks after his rath- er silly slater, the sun. This la exactly the reverse of our legends. which make the sun the day king and the gentle moon ladf of the night One day in China, so the legend rune. tbe sun asked the moon If she couldu't go out at night The moon answered very sternly: "No. You are a young Indy, and it would be Improper for yon to go out after dark." Then the son said. "Bat the people keep looking at me when 1 go out In the daytime." Sb the moon told ber to take the golden needles that ebe wore in her hair and stick them Into the eyes of people when they stared at her. This is the reason why no one can look at the sun withn,.t no in Poor Consolation. "Ob, dear!" exclaimed the society woman. "I feel so wretched, and this is my receiving day too! 1 do hope no one will call, for i'tl be in misery alt the time." "Well," remarked her husband face tiously, "1 always understood that 'misery loves company'" — Catbolic Standard. Her Bribe. Unattractive Maiden Aunt—Goodby, Jottie. Come soon again. 1 hope you'll forgive my not kilning you, but I have an awful cold. Jottie (aged six}—Never mind. Do kiss ne, auntie. Mother said she'd give me 5 cents if I'd let you.—Exchange. Fearful Tortures, Some years ago 1 was a teacher in Afghanistan, and during my stay In that country i was often an unwilling witness of some horrible exhibitions of torture. Here is one they use in the case of women to extract testimony. It consists In prying off the finger wails by means of a small chisel or brad awl, which is shoved In slowly. but firmly, from the finger tip down- ward under the quick of the nail, which is then lifted up and out. This Is another that I once saw used In the case of a small child who would not own up to some petty theft: Sticks were thrust between its fingers and the fingers then squeezed together. so that the sticks crushed into the bones. So much for women and children. Here is a method of eliciting Informa- tion from an unwilling man: The cul- prit is stripped to the waist, and then boiling oil is flicked on to his back. This seldom falls to find the man's tongue. The above are the chief forma of "fahana," or torture, for the purpose of eliciting information, but it must be stated that such inflictions as nip ping of noses, tearing out tongues or splitting eyeballs do not come ander the heading of "trauma," they being punishments rather than tortures.— London Standard. Duchess* and Anarchist Wpon one occasion the Dncbesse d'Uzes and Louise Michel met at the bedside of a poor sick woman whom they were mutually aiding. They met here frequently for a brief period. The woman died. Louise Michel, who was present at the death, wrote to tbe duchesse: "Madame—Our poor friend is dead. 1 have looked among her few belongings for a souvenir for you. Here is a small piece of passementer e done by her hands. Accept it" A few days afterward Mme. la Duehesse d'Uzea, nee Mortemart, went to the home of Louise Michel, the anarchist —a bizarre abode at Levailols where the poor found always both a good word and a piece of bread—to thank the "red virgin" for her letter and her gift A friendship so wu cemented between the oddly assorted pair that was later not without result in the operation of the most gigantic charity of the Duchesse d'Uses--Bonlangeriam. —Harper's Bazar. Bear Baiting In Olden Days. 8o popular was bull baiting in olden days in England that riots followed the attempt to suppress It ina large towns. Bear baiting wu mo popular still, if that could be. I various places, Liverpool, especially, It made part of the festivities at the election of the mayor, being held before his worship started for church. Ladies commonly attended in great numbers. There was a famous bear at Liver- pool which showed such grand sport in 1782 that certain fair admirers pre- sented it with a garland, decked it with ribbons and carried it to the the- ater, where a special entertainment bad been "commanded," which bruin sat out in the front of their box. But of gossip about ball and bear baiting there is no end. Enthusiastic lovers of Shakespeare read with interest the petition of the royal bear warden, ad- dressed to Queen Elisabeth In 11196. complaining that his licensed perform- ances had been neglected of Ute be- came every one went to the theater. Reassuring. Old Bullion—It galls me to think that my money goes Into your spendthrift hands when 1 die. Young Bullion— Never mind, governor. It won't stay there long.—London Tit -Bits. At the Opera. - "What was the matter with Signor Tenors? He sang the drinking song wretchedly." "Yes. I think be had been drinktag." —New Orleans Times -Democrat. 1 TANNING OF LEATHER. It Is Probably the Most Ancient of All the Arts. Tanuing of leather is probably the oldest of all arts. Agriculture Is the only one that would have a chance of competition, but the probabilities are that cold weather taught the first intel- ligent anthropoid ape to move south or cover himself with skins. Without tan- ning the raw hides would soon stiffen and In damp weather would tot and become unbearable because of their odors. Probably about tbe period of the troglodytes, or care men, the art bad its Inception, and right here is to be stated one of the most curious fea- tures of the art—namely, that while every other art has advanced, the methods employed by most tanners to- day are quite similar to those used in the time of Herodotus, a writer who has told us more about the world as he found it than has any historian who succeeded him. Herodotue says be found the Afri- cans wearing skins for clothing, a re- markable statement about the people of a country in which the thermometer rarely goes below 100 degrees F. The Phoenicians used tanned leather for the outsides of ships with which they fearlessly navigated every square mile of the sea of all antiquity. Babylonian leather workers were respected in the time of David of Judea. Russia leath- er has held a proud place since the first century of our era. Dyed mara- quln leather from Astrakhan, at the mouth of the Volga, made from goat- skins, is famous the world over for the beauty of its red and yellow dyes. Then there is the ehagreen of Tartary and Armenia, made of only a small piece of ass' skin, a square of two feet, just over the tail. To me the most memorable thing 1 saw at Tangier, Morocco, was a fa- mous tannery tbtt dated hack to the period preceding the Arabic invasion of Europe. For some of the finest grades a man was treading the skins in a vat barefooted. Ile was some wretched outcast picked up ou the streets and in need of a few copper coins to save him from starvation. The guide told me that an hour among the mineral and vegetable acids lu that vat would cause the skin to peel from his feet and legs as if the flesh had been boiled. As hospitals are unknown in Tangier, this seemed a serious pros- pect for the poor wretch. This incident recalled the unfortunate mules at Gua- najueta and In other places of ,Mexico that are put into the cyanide tanks to separate the silver by tramping. The poor brutes soon lose their hoofs and have to be shot. Morocco leather is made of goat- skins, dyed upon their outer surfaces. Not until the middle of the eighteenth century was the art introduced into France, where the highest grades of Morocco leather are made !n these days. But most travelers are shown books In the Vatican at Rome and in the Royal library at Madrid bound early in 1700 that are in fine condition. Dyeing leather red is the most difficult of all arts in treating skins. The color requires some mysterious mordant to fix it, and not a dyer between Slogs - dere and Aleppo will give up the se- cret.—Brooklyn Eagle. Wendell Phillips and Blaine. When Wendell Phillips was last in Washington be was for a few minutes on the floor of the United States sen- ate, surrounded by a group of senators, among whom was Senator James G. Blaine, always a favorite with Mr. Phillips. It so happened that a few weeks before this time Mr. Blaine in presenting to congress the statue of Governor King, first governor of Maine, to be placed in tbe rotunda of the capitol, bad commented severely on the loyalty of Massachusetts and espe- cially the Federalist party during the war with Great Britain in 1812. Of this party the father of Wendell Phillips, John Phillips, was a conspicu- ous member. When Blaine's speech was made, Dawes and Hoar were sena- tors from Massachusetts, and they both essayed some sort of an impromptu re- ply thereto, but did themselves little credit in parrying the thrusts of Blaine's glittering rapier. So when Wendell Phillips met Blaine on this occasion he said to him laugh- ingly, "i wish 1 had been a member of this body for about an hour the other day when you made that speech ate tacking the Massachusetts Federalists." "Alt," said Mr. Blaine, with that ready wit which never deserted him, "if you had been here I shouldn't have made that speech."—Exchange. A Fatal Disease. A celebrated general once inquired of one of his soldiers the cause of his brother's death. "My- brother died, sir," replied the soldier, "because he bad nothing to do." "Well, my man," said the general, "that Is reason enough to kill the great- est general of us all."—Exchange. A Particular Patient, "Are you sure that is what L the matter with me?' "Yes, madam." "Well, you'll have to grew again. doctor. I won't have 1t It's too com- mon a complaint"—New York Press. A Natural Curiosity. "Do you know what I do when a man offers me advice?' said the curb- stone philosopher. "Ala" "Ask him if he's tried it." --Cleveland a tronas.