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0 THE HAST1NGS UTE. SCC VOL. L. ---NO. 36. HASTINGS. MINK SATURDAY. MAY 30, 1908.. es per Tear in Advance. A SPANISH TRICK. Th. Incident Which Moved England to Turn Drake Loose. The relations between which Drake's raid into the south sea had for a time threatened with open rupture had greatly improved—at least in outward appearance—and in 1585, under spe- cial promises of immunity from mo- lestation on religious or other grounds, Philip had invited to his ports a fleet of English corn ships in order to sup- ply the deficiency of his own ham ests. No sooner, however, had the English ships arrived than au embargo was laid upon them and their crews ar- rested. One ship, the famous Primrose of London, managed to escape. While lying off Bilbao quietly discharging her cargo she bad been visited by the cor- regidor of Biscay and his guard dis- guised as merchants. Suddenly called upon to surrender, the crew dung them- selves upon the Spaniards, drove them all overboard and made sail. Some of the discomfited Spaniards as the shore boats tied were seen clinging to the English vessel. These were humane- ly rescued and carried in triumph back to England, and among them was the corregldor himself. Upon him were found his official instructions, setting forth expressly that the embargo was ordered for the purposes of the expe- dition which Philip was preparing against the English. This was enough for the queen and the powerful pub- lic opinion of commercial circles in London, which had obstinately clung to pacific relations with Spain. A re- taliatory embargo was proclaimed, let- ters of general reprisal were issued, and Drake was let loose.—From Publi- cation of Navy Records Society. A PORTO RICAN CUSTOM. Prayers For the Dying Reoited In the Public Streets. "A few evenings ago while we were at dinner in our hotel," writes an American author visiting in Porto Rico, "we heard the tinkling of a small bell just outside the hotel doors. Instantly Salvador, the waiter, stopped in the little bustling run with which he waits on the guests, hurriedly procured a candle, lighted it and carried it out on the balcony. Almost as soon as that candle was on the balcony railing we three Americans were beside it, ques- tioning Salvador, for we were sure something unusual was going on. "We saw a procession of many peo- ple, led by two priests, coming'doWn the street, each person bearing in his hand a lighted candle. They stopped in front of a house facing the hotel, and Salvador told us that somebody was dying there and they were pray- ing for his soul. Up and down the street as far as we could see on every balcony railing was burning either a candle or a kerosene lamp. "From the absorbed interest of the people gathered In front of open doors and windows of tbe afflicted house the sufferer was apparently trying to dis in full view of the spectators. "Presently the bell began to ring again, the procession formed once more, and they all moved up the street, • Salvador telling us in explanation that there was a second person dying and they were now going to pray for him." —Exchange. A Slight Deduction. In Mrs. Lapham's family circle her powers of reasoning were accounted most remarkable and convincing. Out- side the family her ability to convince was not so marked. "See here," she said without releas- ing the ten cent piece for which the conductor of the trolley car had gone to her side, "I've only brought Willy with me. He's Aght, so I've got to pay his fare. I've left Myra, that's four, and Neddy, that's two, at home. Now, you wouldn't have charged me for them, would your' • "No, madam," said the conductor. 'Tour fare, please?' "Well, they'd have taken one seat," persisted Mrs. Lapham, still retaining her hold on the ten cent piece. "I couldn't have held 'em both. I thought of bringing them, only 'twas foo far. Now, why can't you take off something from Willy under the CirCUMStallCeer —Youth's Companion. In Buying Perfumes. "If you give her perfumery for her birthday," said the druggist, "give with discretion. Find out first the effect of perfumes on the system. "Heliotrope is a bad scent for any but the boisterous and gay. It is de- pressing. It often causes the neuras- thenic to weep. Would it suit her? "Musk is a powerful stimulant, a good thing for those with weak hearts. • How is she that way? "Stephanotis creates languor. If she is lazy, then avoid it. "Violet is the best perfume. It ele- vates the mind. It spurs to deeds of braveryrof sacrifice. It creates beauti- ful thoughts. Get her violet, my boy." —Exchange. The Commutable Cook. "My wife and I are keeping house in the suburbs this year." "What does the transportation cost you?" "Well, let's see. We bought three commutation tickets at"— . "Three! Who uses the third?" "That's for the cook. I take one out every night, and she leaves the next morning."—Brooklyn Llte. The good man prolomm his Ste. -To be able to enjoy one's past lite is to A Fowl That Won a Battle. A singular story is told of a gallant cock whose moral influence at a cit- ies! moment during the battle of Vincent helped to save a Brttlah man- of-war from the hands of the enemy. The fowl .in question formed part of the live stock of the Marlborough, a vessel which had suffered so severely that her captain was considering the advisability of striking his fang. The ship was entirely dismasted, whlle the chief officers had been carried below severely wounded, and the crew, with- out anybody to cheer them up. were beginning to grow sullen under the heavy fire of the enemy, to which they were hardly able to respond. At this emergency a shot struck the coop iu which the fowls were confined. The only surviving occupant, a cock, find- ing himself nt liberty, fluttered up and perched himself on the stump of the mainmast an surveyed the scene of carnage. around Mm. Then, gapping his wings In defiance, he began to crow vociferously. He was answered by three hearty and exhilarating cheers from the crew, who all bad a good laugh and, with spirits thus renewed, continued the action with a vigor that lasted until a turn in the battle res- cued them from their tight position.- London Chronicle. Cigar Smoke. The stale smell of cigar smoke is peculiarly unpleasant and peculiarly difficult to get rid of. It clings to the curtains and to most of the articles of furniture which present any sort of an absorbent surface. It is not so to the same extent with cigarettes or with pipes. In the case even of a tingle cigar books. papers and textiles- reek of its stale flavor, and the room re- quires abundant airing before that fla- vor is completely eliminated. This ef- fect, we are told, may be traced to the fact that a cigar produces pungent aromatic oils in greater abwuilance than a cigarette or a pipe. With the cigarette oils are probably burnt even if they are formed, while in the pipe they condense in the stem. In the. cigar they seem to be chiefly discarded into the air. In the form of a cigar tobacco would appear to produce more olis than in the form of a cigarette or when burnt in a pipe. --London Lan- cet. Perry's Big Guns. Commodore Perry had not yet elec- trified a grateful nation with his im- mortal message, 'We have met the en- emy, and they are ouri." While the battle was in progress the sound of the guns was heard at Cleveland, about sixty miles away in a direct line over the water. The few settlers there were expecting the battle and listened with intense Interest. Finally the sounds ceased. They waited for a re- newal. None came; the lull was pain- ful. Then they knew the battle was over; but the result—ah, that was the point. One old fellow, who had been lying flat with his ear to the ground, soon settled that point Springing up, be elaPPed his hands and shouted: "Thank God! They are whipped! They are whipped!" "How do you know?" the others in - "Heard the big guns last!" Perry's guns were the heaviest Turning a Tight Screw. Any one who has attempted to re- move a very tight screw knows what a very difficult holiness it is. After straining and tvristing for a con- siderable time the operator frequent- ly ends by losing his temper and destroying the bite of the scraw, which remains fixed as tightly as ever. With the aid of a pair a pinchers, how- ever, the affair is quite a simple one. Place the screwdriver in position and then catch hold of the blade with the pinchers just above the head of the screw. 'Press the screwdriver firmly and at the same time twist round the blade with the pinchers. The tightest screw will yield immediately to this sort of perauasion. Bird Dogs. Bird dogs have been known as such for only about three or four centuries. So far as we know, the Duke of North- umberl teenth century, was the first tr bird dogs. The duke was 1011 y others who trained dogs to "s rds, but it was not till the beginning of the nineteenth cen- tury that any reliable record of a dis- tinct brand of bird dogs can be found. The Gordon setter was founded by the Duke of Gordon about 1800.—New York American. A young lady full of good deeds no- ticed the tongue of a horse bleeding and with a use of technical terms too little appreciated said to the cabby, "Cabby, your horse has hemorrhage." "It's 'is tongue's too large for his mouth," said the cabby and added sen- tentiously, "Like some young ladies."— London Globe. Good Term& "I'm sure we shall be on good terms," said the man wher had jut moved into the neighborhood to the corner grocer. "No doubt of it, sir, especially," be added as an afterthought, "as the terms are cash."—London Telegraph. Modern Facilities. • "Who was die Rip Van Winkle?" "An old time guy wot slept in de "Didn't have no public libraries, I repose, in his day?"—Louisvllle Cou- Cruelty and fear shake hands togeth, Used by Millions Galum Baking Powder Cern Ile. pith the Aw Yood Ln of oven sub. In the Drinking Days. A once well known individual who had lived every day of his life and gained from It n great experience left the following advice—and little else— to bis sons: "Drink slow; do not mix your liquor; never sit with your backs to the tire." It was an excellent pre- cept for the era in which it was given —the times when the dining room door was kept locked that there migttt be no shirking the claret and wheu the only chance at the circuit mesa of es- caping intoxication was to drop under the table "like the rest," as Lord Cock- burn tells us he did, and lie qulet— nny, even when our judges resented that discredit should be brought on drinking by misconduct. Everybody drank, and much too much, in those days, but especially tbe ujfper classes. A well known politician discharged his coachman for overturning him 1u his carriage. "I had certainly drunk too much, sir," urged tbe poor man, "but I was not. very drunk, and gentlemen, you know, sometimes get drunk." "1 don't say you were very drunk for a gentleman," returned his master, "but you were exceedingly drunk for a coachmg,s!"—London Illustrated News. Cage For a Queen Be& When a queen bee te.'comea unpro- ductive through old age, it is necessary for the bee keeper to supply the colony of bees with a new queen. This he does in the following manner: The old queen is removed from the hive and the bees are left alone for about twelve, hours or longer, during which time they find out that they are queenlees. The new queen is then put into a cage made of wood and wire cloth. with an opening through one end. This open - Ing Is filled tight with a mixture of honey and sugar. The cage thus pre- pared is laid upon the tops of the frames In the h ge. The bees soon dis- cover the new queen in the cage and set to'work upon the honey and sugar. In the hive bees recognise friends and strangers by their sense of smell, and a strange queen entering a hive would be very quickly killed by the bees. By the time the queen is liberated from the cage she has acquired the scent of the hive and is therefore no longer a stranger.—London Globe. Eccentric Editions of Boolas. Mr. George Somes I.ayard In a book entitled "Suppressed Plates, Wood En- gravings, Etc.," writes of the ridicu- lous people who valtm such books as the first issue of the first edition of Dickens' "American Notes" Just be- cause there is a mistake In the pagi- natioh, or a first edition of Disraelre "Lothar" because the prototype ot "Mgr. Catesby" Is divulged by mis printing the name "Capel," or "Poem, by Robert Burns," first Ldinbnrgh ed! tion, became the Duke of Roxborough apptiars as "the Duke of Boxhorough." or Barker's "Breeches" Bible of 1394 because on the title page of tbe Net Testament the figures are trabspoFea to 1405, or the first edition in French of Washington Irving's "Sketch -Book" because the translator. maltreating V:, author's name, has declared the bee. - to "traduit de l'Angials de NI. irwie Washington," and in the dedkatiou has labeled Sir Walter Scott "hermit - net" Cornish Humor. The magistrate at the Liskeard lice court might well have excused the laughter which greeted the remark of a police witness only a short time ago who said with all seriousness: "He was drunk, your honor, and couldn't stand. I told him to go away, and as he wouldn't I locked him up." The laugh in another court was against the solicitor who severely ask- ed, "Were you present when you heard Mixed metaphors are not a peculiar nor indeed a common failing of the Cornishman, but a certain eloquent town councilor quite recently got en- tangled when in the course of a pro- tracted debate on tbe momentous sub- ject of the local dust bins he declared indignantly, "It is time we put our foot down with a loud voice."—English Illustrated Magazine. A Fair Jury. In a suit some years ago between fa- ther and son before an Indiana justice of the peace the sextet comprising the jury came in after three hours' delib- eration with the following impartial verdict: "We, the jury, agree to And judgment for neither plaintiff nor de- fendant and find that each pay half the costs." It is said the verdict struck every one as being so unusually fair that even the parties to the action were satistlett—Case and Comment. Sweet Sorrow. "I can't please my friends," sobbed the young bride. "What's the matter, pet?" "They insist that I can't be Oappy with a fathead like you, but, oh, hus- band, I am!"—Washington Herald. It ifi for want et appliation rather than means that men fall a sucossa.e. La Rochefoucauld. THERE WAS ii0 CHARGE. All the Seats in That Particular Church Wean Fes. At a certain chustb an aged usher, to save the eaertipn of continually marching up and down the aisle tocon- duct persons to theft feats, used to take a stand In the center of the church and when any Incomers appeared beckon to them and then conduct them to a seat. The urchins of the neighborhood, knowing his peculiarity, used to pop their heads inside the church door and mimic his action by beckoning to him. Many times he tried to catch one and one Sunday morning nearly did so. But the boy rushed away from the church and ran Into the anus of a po- liceman. "What have you been up to?" de- manded the policeman. Thought tbe boy, "I'm caught." but be said, "Oh. sir, there's a disturbance at that church, and they have sent me to fetch a policeman." "Very good," said the officer. "I'11 step in and see alout It." So he opened the door nt the west end oY the church and, taking off his helmet. entered. The moment the usher saw hint he beckoued to him and motioned him to a seat next an o gentleman. Immediately he w seated he touch- ed the old gentlem and said, "Conte quiet." The old gentlema replied, "What do you mean?" Officer—You know what I mea and I don't want no chat. Come quiet or 1 shall have to take ydr by force. Old Gentleman—I really don't under. stand you. O®cer—Look here! We don't want no more disturbance! You have been kicking up quite enough, and I'm going to have you out quick, By this time the congregation were looking at the pair and wondering what was the matter, so the old gentle. man said: "Very well. I have not made any disturbance, but to save any I will go with you." So together, to the wonderment of the congregation, they marched up the aisle. When they had Passed out of the church the usher followed them, and the policeman, turning to him, said: "Now, then, you have to make your charge." "Charger' said the usher. "There ain't any charge. All the seats are free."—Detroit News -Tribune. THE CRITIC'S SHRUG. A Story of an Old Persian Post and an Aspiring Shah. "To be fair," saki a noted dramatic critic, "is sometimes hard and cruel. and sometimes it is rash. You know tbere are reprisals. The unswerving fair critic often takes up his pen with the shrug of Omar, the old Persian poet "You have heard of Omar's shrug? No? Well, it was eloquent The shah once bad sent for the old poet "'Omar,' he said, 'I have written some verses. Listen, and I will read them to you.' "And he read the verses and in the ensuing silence looked at Omar anx- iously. 'Well?' he said. "'Heaven born,' said Omar gently, each to his own calling. Scepter in hand, you are most wise, just and powerful, hut pen in hand'— Omar shook his head end chuckled. 'Heaven born,' said he, 'such verses would dis- grace a nine-year-old schoolboy.' "His eyes flashing with wrath, the shah shouted to his guards: " 'To the stables with this old fool, and let him be soundly flogged!' "Tet the shah, for all, respected later, another Idea for a poem came to bis mind and was feverishly executed he sent for the fearless and fair critic "'Another poem, Omar, a better one. I'm sure you'll think It is a bet- ter one,' be said wistfully. And he be pn to read the second poem to the old "But in the middle of the reading Omar turrfOil and started for the door. " 'Where are you gang?' said the shah la amazemeut "Omar looked back and shrugged his "To the stables,' be answered, 'for another dogging.' "—Denver Repub. Which of Them? certain two men are possessed of One buys a modest house for $4,000, a modest businees for $8,000 and salts the remainder of his money away against a rainy day. The other puts his entire $10,000 into • motor car and thereby acquires such credit that be can have a house worth $50,000 and be- aten* a partner in a business PaYtnit ;100,000 a year. Assuming that both men have a wife and some daughters, which of them lives to kick himselft—Puck. Ohjeet In His Preaching. Towne—It's funny. Burrough is for - over preaching to his friends about the necessity for saving their money. Browne—Well? Towne—Well, he's the hurt fellow In the world who should preach that Browne—Not at all. The more his friend* save the more he has tha chance to borrow.--ChIcago Jour - Mr. Goodlie Idy boy, you'd never bear me use language like that! The Hid—I bet you don't! Why, It took me live years to learn all dem Words.— allastsa Absolutely Pure 'i 1' 111 ' es e 4414 -1 * 1� •1 , 9. AO) From Grapes, the most healthful hful of fruits, cones the chief ingredient of ROMA= ye The only baking powder . made from Royal Grape Cream of Tartar 4 • GP Coes a little more than the injurious alum ar phosphate of lima powders, but with Royal you are sore of pure, healthful food. A Remarkable Suicide. - A man who bet tidied Paris was telling of tiu eXtrat,..dintiry suicide he had heard of in that gay city. "Ile was a Prenchinan, %Nilo wits nothing it not original," said the teller of the tale, "aud even when he grew despond- ent he planned his denth is a most original ftushion. Ile locked the door of his room in the Ituo Nltot and, re- moving the weights of the window cord, fastened them to the vvindow iteelf. He ndded to the weight of the window by attaching six flatirons. On the sill he adjusted a large triangular bread knife, such as is used by chefs, and made ready a small balloon, capa- ble of lifting fifty pounds. The in- genious Frenchman then put his beadl out of the window after attaching the balloon to his neck and by releasing the clamp that held the window cut his head off completely with the impro- vised The decapitated body was discovered several &ye later, but it was not until the balloon and the head were found a vreek later in the field of a peasant, eighteen miles from Paris, that the method of suicide was really known." Old Maps of Louisiana. An interesting exhibit In the Lou- isiana State museum is a collection of old maps that show the state of Lou- isiana extending from Canada, which was then called New France, on the north to the gulf of Mexico on the south and from Virginia and Carolina on the east to the Pacific on the west. These maps were printed In Italy and Holland and France and were evident- ly largely works of fancy and imagina- tion on the part of the geographers, as they depict mountain ranges where none exists and lakes and rivers dis- tributed around in places where they are not found today. One of the most charming of these mnps represents the Mississippi river as making a graceful turn along what is now the roadbed of the Louisville and Nashville railroad and emptying into the gulf in Florida. Along a strip of this country about where English 1..00kout and peaceful Bay St. Louis are located is a fear- some spot tnarked as the land of the man eaters.—New Orleans Picayune. A Coveted Picture. Some years ago a western man en- tered J. G. Brown's studio and seemed to gain satisfaction in finding fa- miliar features unchanged. Ile told the artist that in his boyhood he had worked in the streets of New York and, with others of his class, had served as a model for one of the pictures of street boys. He had gone west and bad prospered and now had returned with a desire to become the owner of the group picture in which he and some of his boyish cronies appeared. He wanted it as a remainder of the struggles of his boyhood. He looked back on those days as being quite as happy as any he bad ever knoan. The picture, *aye W. Howard litandLsh, dis- cussing J. G. Brown, a painter of hum- ble folk, bad long ago been sold, and, although the would be purchaser offer- ed to give his check for $26,000 for the work, the artist was unable to supply any clew to its whereabouts.—New The Cost For Repairs. "Why did you sell your auto?' "Cost too much for repairs." "Wasn't it a good machiner "First rate. Never got out of order. But I had to pay for repairing the peo- ple it ran over."—Philadelphla Ledger. Judicial lenoranoe. "Did the clock stop when you dashed It down cellar'?" asked the police judge of the man who was charged with be- ing disorderly. "Of course it stopped. Did you sup - want through is Rival Organizations. The man who had been keeping his seat in a Lexington avenue car, the seats of which were well occupied by women, spoke at lust to the woman hanging on to a strap and who had been eying illm intently for some time. "I know I ought to get up and let you have my seat, madam," he said, "but I'm pledged against that sort of thing. I have just joined the lilt Still club, an organization we have formed in Harlem, and if I should violate the solemn obligation I took when I be- came a member of that body I ehould be expelled and held up to the execra- tion of ail other membem." "That is all right, sir," replied the woman. "You mustn't mind my look- ing at you so hard. 1 am a member of the 'Stand and Stare club.' " kfter which she continued to staud and stare at him in such a fierce mitu- ner that he finally got up, waved her into his seat and said, "I guess re- sign from my club and Join yours right now, madam."—New York Press. A Throne and • North Wind. Long had Gustavus Vasa sought to rouse his fellow countrymen, the Swedes, against the infamous Danish tyrant Christian, whose memory will always be linked with that of the "blood bath" of Stockholm. But the brave Gustavus found his compntriots cowardly and slow. An outlaw him- self, no voice was raised in the assem- bly in his favor. He called upon the people to fight, but they sat sullen around him. Suddenly a cold wind rose from the north, and an old court- tryman cried, "God approves of the designs of Vasa, for a north wind is always a happy presage." These aim- ple words acted like magic. The melt flew to arms and prayed Gustavus to lead them against the Dnnes. In a few days he had collected an army large and brave enough to gire battle to the forraidable troops of the king of Den- mark. Victory was tbeirs front the first, and the capture of Stockholm in 15ZI placed the crown of Sweden upon West Pointers on the Battlefield. One thing of which all West Pointers felt proud was the brotherly love and kindness shown by both sides to fee low graduates when taken prisoners or w;hen otherwise in distress. I have heard the story told of Fitzhugh Lee that on one occasion when scouting with a squadron of cavalry in the de- batable country between Fairfax Courthouse and Alexandria he rap- ture(' picket of a similar commander under Tom Height and learned that the latter was taking breakfast in a farmhouse. Fitz went in alone, found Tom at table with his back to the door, so he was able to get up to him and slap him on the back before saying. "I think. Tom, you might have put out one picket." They took breakfast to- gether, and then Fitz sent an escort to conduct him to the Federal lines and bring back his horse, having of course first paroled him. This was to save him from Libby prison.—General Et. W Ferguson in Metropolitan Magazine. Mountains Had Not Moved. The story is told that when Judge Millen) Rogers was chairman of the ochiol committee In a New England town one eInt1111104/012 day be went around questioning pupils of the mid- dle grade. He asked a boy named Rock where the Rocky mountains wore. The bey answered correctiy, but failed to be promoted that term. The following year the judge asked tke same question. Rock replied, "The same place they were last year." *Was that picture yon just sold a genuine work of art?' "No," answered the dealer, "but the story I told about it waa."—WasbIng, tea Star. f or some kind.4—Plalaielobla Pretty Lively Fooling. 1 was out walking In Kingston, Ja- maica, one afteruo,tt, and while on a uarrow street t came upon two black womou, each apparently in n towering rain's'. Each woman's tongue was go- ing at phenomenal rate, but not a word of their screeching Jargon was intelligible to me. Finally 'one of the women scooped up at double baudtul of the ever pres- ent Kingston dust and flung it over the other woman, with a will shriek of laughter. The dust covered woman re- taliated by taking a tin pan she had in her hand aud, scooping up a couple of quarts of the dirty water in the gut- ter by the roadside, drenching her as- seltaut with it, whlle all that part of Kingston resounded with the mad laughter. The two women then closed lu ou each other and proceeded to en- gage 1n a prolonged wrestle, which resulted iu both of them falling to the ground, where they rolled over aud over iu a cloud of dust and fually stood upon their feet, facing each other iu a state of dirt and disorder beyond description. Fearing that they would make a sec- ond onslaught on each other and wish - lug to play the part of peacemaker, 1 stepped forward and asked: "What is the trouble?" Courtesylug low, oue of the women said in u soft, drawling voice: "No trouble nt all, =stall; we's jesa foolln'."—Exchange. Cast Up by the Sea. They that go down to the sea in ships learn much of the mysteries of life. From the coast of Africa there traveled to Searboro, Me., the paluUug of an old time sea captain of that town wbo long years ago was lost with all on board his ship in the China seas. The ship sailed from the home port with every prospect of a successful voyage, but she never returned to the home land. Years went by and she was given up as lost, her name was taken from the shipping list, and no news of her came back to the waiting ones at home. Long afterward a pass- ing vessel picked up off the African coast the portrait of an American sea captain such as the Chinese artists paint, and on the back of the picture were the captain's name and that of the port from which he sailed. The paint- ing was forwarded to the little Amer- ican town, and it was found to be a picture of the Searboro sea captain. master of the lost vessel that had left the harbor so many years ago.—Keuue- bec Journal. Largest Grave in the World. Tbo lari,,,est single grave in the world occupies just exactly one acre of ground, which is surrounded by an iron railing. This enormous grave is located at Penrto Cortez, in Honduras, and Is the burial place of a woman. The tombstone occupies the center of the ground inclosed, and se‘eral wood- en figures representing the deceased are arranged in statuelike form in dif- ferent parts of the ground. There are no fewer than sixteen of these fig- ures, which In the evening give the place a ghostlike appearance. The de- ceased had died rich and in her will had apeelfied the amount of ground to be purchased for her grave and the manner in which it should be deco- rated. She had many curious notions, and the size aod ornamentation of her grave was one of them. Coleridge's Cloudiness. There is In Mr. Ellis Yarnoll's remi- niscences, "Wordsworth and tbe Cole - ridges," a very amusing story of Sam- uel Taylor C,oleridge, whose thoughts were sometimes too profound even for poets to follow. Wordsworth and Sam- uel Rogers had spent the evening with Coleridge, and as the two poets walked away together Rogers remarked cau- "I did not altogether understand the latter part of what Coleridge said." "I didn't understand any of it," Wordsworth hastily replied. "No more did II" exclaimed Rogers, with a sigh of relief. A Formidable Army. The battle was going against him. The commander In chief, himself rater of the South Atuerican republic, sent an aid to the rear, ordering General Blanco to briug up his regiment' at once. Ten minutes passed, but it didn't come. Twenty, thirty, an hour—still no regimeut. The aid came tearing back huller's. breathless. "My regi - meat! My regiment! Where is it? Where is itr shrieked the commander. "General," answered tbe excited aid. "Blanco started it all right, but there are a couple of drunken Americans down the road and they won't let it go by."—Argonaut, A Triple Coincidence. An almost incredible triple coinci- dence was noted in France some years ago. In 180-1 the deputy for the Ar- dennes was M. Ferry; for Loir et Cher, M. Brisson, and for the Vosges, M. Hugo. in 1793, 101 years earlier, each district had been represented in the chamber hy a man of exactly the same name. ithdrees (roldnight)—I don't intend to come downstairs to let you In at this time of night again. New Girl (reu- suringly—You won't have to, mum. One of my friends took an impression of your lock. and he's making a nice key for me.—London Globe. There are people who only seem to take pride in telling the tfuth when they know it is going to hurt some- body's feelinga—New Orlon' Times - fur Non assia.,,Clhirago Tribune.