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i 'THE HAST!NGS VOL. L. ---\'O.32. gteL ,e0ostek° UAZETTE. HASTINGS, MINN.. SATURDAY. MAY 2, 1908. THE MYSTERY OF SLEEP. No Man Knows When the Moment of Unconsciousness Comes. There is a remarkable fact connected with sleep which must not be over looked. The sleep of a human being, if we are not too busy to attend to the matter, always evokes a certain feeling of awe. Go into a room where a per- son is sleeping; and it is difficult to resist the sense that one is in the pres- ence of the central mystery of exist- ence. People who remember how con- stantly they see old Jones asleep in the club library will smlle at this, but look quietly and alone even at old Jones and the sense of mystery will soon develop. It is no good to say that sleep Is only "moving" because it looks like death. The person who is breathing so loudly as to take away all thought of death causes the sense of awe quite as easily as the silent sleeper who hardly seems to breathe. --We see death seldom, but were it more familiar we doubt if a corpse would inspire so mach awe as the un- conscious and sleeping figure—a smil- ing, irresponsible doll, flesh and blood, but a doll to whom In a second may be called a proud, active, controlling consciousness which will ride his bodi- ly and his mental horse with a hand of iron, which will force that body to endure toil and misery and will make that mind, now wandering in paths of fantastic folly, grapple with some great problem or throw all its force into the ruling, the saving or the destruction of mankind. The corpse is only so much bone, muscle and tissue; the sleeping body is the house which a quick and eager master has only left for an hour or so. Let any one who thinks sleep is not a mystery try to observe in himself the process by which sleep comes and to notice how and when and ander what conditions he loses conseiousness. He will, of course, utterly fail to put his finger on the moment of sleep com- ing, but in striving to get as close as he can to the phenomena of sleep he will realize how great is the mystery which he is trying to fathom. A JAPANESE DINNER. Plenty of Variety, but Too Much Salt For American Palates. "I am afraid you won't like it," said the young Japanese baron. "You in- sisted, though, on a real Japanese din - ver. So what was I to do?' They seated themselves. the three girls and he, upon the green silk cush- ions placed on a parquetry floor about a little table a foot high. A Japanese servant entered with the tea, and the Japanese dinner began. For first course there were sweet bis- cuit and tea—delicate tea of the April harvest, "first chop" tea, formerly served with cherry spoons and a poem for each guest. Next came ushio, a salty soup, with which the national wine, called sake, was served in flat saucers. The third course was a little raw fish, very salty and steeped in a sour and "npetising sauce. The guests, con- trary to their expectation, found the raw fish no more difficult to eat than raw oysters. With this course went a salad of white chrysanthemums. The elaborate fourth course consist- ed onsisted of boiled chestnuts and a paste of sharks' fins, quail roasted and bashed with preserved cherries and crawfish with eggs. These viands were all ar- ranged decoratively on one large dish. The fifth course, also on one dish, was boiled bamboo shoots with soy, salted mushrooms and a cold boiled salmon and cold boiled perch, with pickled shoots of the ginger plant Next came a soup of seaweed, bit- ter, salty, decidedly good; next an as- sortment of nuts boiled in soy; next salt relishes; next delicious boiled rice, the grains as large as cherries, and, to conclude, tea again. The young girls as they rose from their low cushions and limped about in the effort to get the stiffness out of their legs said that the Japanese din- ner had been very good, really much better than they had counted on, .but perhaps a little too salty for occidental taste.—Exchange. A Shower Wedding. "And you say when the heiress b♦ came the wife of the foreign. noble- man it was a shower wedding?" "I should say so. The bride wore a shower bouquet" "Ya." "And then there was a shower of sire." "My I" "Followed by a shower of congratu- lations and old shoes." "Well, well! And how did it end up r„ "Very embarrassing all round. The nobleman's creditors came around and presented a shower of bills."—Kansas City Independent. As Good as the Zoo. "Will you come with me to the zoo this afternoon 7" "No, thank you; I would rather stay at home. My eldest daughter jumps like a wild goat, my youngest shrieks like a parrot, my son is as surly as a bear, my wife snaps like a dog, and my mother-in-law, who 1s a veritable tigress, says I am exactly like an orang outang. So, you see, I have no need to go to the zoo to see strange creatures." Efficiency of Telephones. According to M. Abraham, the best telephone does not transmit to the ear more than one -thousandth part of the energy which it receives from the line. CUNNING BIRDS. Stratagem of the Lapwing and the Ruse of the Thrush. "The goose is a frightful llar," said a nature fakir. "He quite puts me to shame." "Really?" "Really. You know how the goose, when you draw near it, hisses? Well, with that hissing sound it says: 'Scott, beware. I am a serpent.' Yes, from primeval times the goose bas acted thls lie. The primeval goose mother, sitting on her eggs in a place of reeds and sedge, would not fly when an in• truder appeared; but, keeping her body concealed amid the leaves, she would stretch out her long, flexible neck and hiss wickedly. 'A snake in the grass,' the intruder would say to himself as he retreated, and on her eggs the goose would chuckle in a sly, contemptuous way. "The lapwing is another liar. Ap- proach her nest and she sets up a dis- tressful crying and runs back and forth in front of you, trailing one wing as though it were broken. You follow. You think to snatch her up in your hands. With this ile she lures you away from her young. "The thrush in time of drought beats with his feet on the grass like a clog dancer. Thus he lies to the earth- worms. He makes them think that it is raining. Up they come in silent haste, and the deceitful thrush makes a rich meal."—New Orleans Times - Democrat WELL BURIED. Two Funerals For One Man Provided For by His Will. Curious directions for the disposal of his remains were left by John Robert Pringle of Catford, who died leaving an estate of gross valve of £8,049 8s. Sd. The testator directed: "After my decease I desire that a competent and trustworthy doctor of medicine shall, by any experiment he may deem suitable, thoroughly satisfy himself that life is absolutely extinct My carcass is to be cremated and the residuum thereof deposited in two metal urns, numbered respectively 1 and 2. On the ashes in No. 1 are to be placed a packet, which will be found on my desk, and my miniature portrait scarf - pin, and on the ashes in urn No. 2 a similar packet, which also will be found on my desk, and my miniature portrait finger ring." He directed that the urns were then to be soldered down and No. 1 buried in his mother's grave at Newport Pag- nell and the other in "my dear Lizzle's grave" in the Streatham cemetery at Tooting. He also enjoined his son to see that the graves of his mother attd of the testator's mother were properly looked after.—London Mail. At Liberty to Scream. It was on a ferryboat plying between Sydney and Manly, one of that city's beautiful suburbs. Every Beat was oc- cupied. Each occupant felt the influ- ence and prepared for an enjoyable trip when a lank girl of fifteen appear- ed, dragging by the hand a screaming child. There she stood, glowering. A mild lady suggested the child might be in pain. An old bachelor muttered that people who had charge of children should keep them at home. Low voiced but distinct imprecations were now rife. She took not the slightest heed of the muttering or the bawling. which was now at the highest pitch, till the suggestion was offered that medicine would do ft good. Then she arose in her wrath, as it were, and, giving the child a vigorous shake, said: "Ethel, cry as loud as you like. I've paid your fare."—London Tit -Bits. Handsome Dogs Aro Good Dogs. In the most cbaracterlatic of English dogs, with the English bulldog as an unfortunate exception of a glaring sort, common sense principles in the canon of judging are distinctly marked In the case of hounds any good eye can pick out the best animals. This was curiously illustrated not long since in private when an artist taken over one of the bigger kennels of foxhounds picked out the prize and pedigree dogs one after the other. He went purely by his own sense of what was strong and comely, of "strength and beauty met together," as Shelley says In a very different connection. — London Outlook. The British Breed. British bred animals, whether they be horscts, cattle, sheep or even pigs, are superior to all others in quality and stamina. There is some strange and admirable power in our soil which puts a stronger fiber and a more enduring stamp of excellence into the live stock bred In our islands than are found in the same breed or species in any other part of the world.—London Times. A City of Happy Homes. Dublavin took a walk in the ceme- tery, where he noticed on the tomb- stones, "Good Husband," "Good Wife," "Good Son." "It is evidently here that the hap- piest homes are found," he reflected.— Nos Loisirs. An Admission. Alice — I rather like that young Thompson. He bas such a good, firm mouth and chin. Hazel—Goodness! Has he been kissing you too?—Kansas City Independent A person is always startled when he hears himself seriously called old for the first tame.—O. W. Holmes. kip Pewder. Best by Test HER NEWSPAPER 'ORD. He Isn't Always Cross; Sometimes He Is Positively Jubilant. Newspaper daddies are funny, 1 think. Mine's one. He's funniest at breakfast only it isn't breakfast, 'cause it's lunch, and that's another funny thing about it. "Where's 'emornin's paper?" he asks mamma the first thing when he comes downstairs. And then when she looks sort of childishly at him 'cause he's a little gruff be hurries up and says, "Good morning, everybody," just u though he felt kind -a 'shamed of him- self. And then he won't talk when he gets his old paper. He just sticks bis nose into it and looks at one page after an- other jest as fast as he can, and then he begins all over again and does It slower and keeps still for quite awhile. Then mamma and 1 wait for an ex- plosion. "Una!" he says. ,'They couldn't spell 'cat' right." Then be goes chasing from one page to another as fast as ever he can, talk- ing to himself, and when he's got real mad be shouts at mamma: "They buried it! See. They buried It back there—way back there, of course, and it's the best story In the paper!" Then mamma says, quiet, like a calm after a storm, "Dome, dear, your cof- fee '11 get cold." But he's more like a bear than a dear, and he doesn't come, but be keeps on growling at the old paper. I guess he finally gets tired of himself, too, and then he jumps up, throws the paper on the chair and tries to dodge mamma's funny smile. IMamma's awfully patient, I think, and she never gets mad, but just smiles and smiles at daddy when he gets cross at things. Sometimes she asks bim why he wants to keep on beings news- paper man if it's so awful. One time he answered and said It was because If he kept on working sixteen hours a day maybe the office would some time give him as much as the stereotyper gets for working eight hours a day. Mamma said that was sarcasm. I guess he thinks sarcasm must be a good thing for the office, 'cause he moat always talks that way about it. But newspaper daddies aren't always cross. Sometimes mine hurries down- stairs a whole lot earlier, and then when he grabs the paper he smiles all over and shouts at mamma: "See that story ? That's a clean scoop, and a bully one! That's worth living for! And, say, won't the fellows ou the old Bugle feel sore, though! "I tell you," he says then, "one day like that is worth a bicycle of Cathay." whatever that is. And then mamma looks at me and smiles, 'cause we both think tie's fun- ny sometimes.—Des Moines (la.) Reg - later. A Great Lawyer's Method. Writing of "Civilian Leaders of the Confederacy" In the Louisville Courler- Journal, John Goode says of Judah Benjamin: "The first time I met bim we dis- cussed the practice of law, and In the course of the conversation he asked use what we considered a good fee in my part of the country, to which I replied that we considered $500 a very respect• able fee. He smiled and said: "Wheu I practiced law in New Orleans if a man employed me I charged him a re- tainer. If he came about the office much I charged him a reminder, when I had done some work in the case I charged elm a refresher, and when it was all over I charged Mm a finisher." Test For Hydrochlerio Acid. A curious mishap gave us a very del- icate test for hydrochloric add in the atmosphere. In a north of England locality many houses have curtains of the cream color produced by metanll yellow, popularly known as "dolly" cream dye and to science u "the so- dium salt of meta-amldo-bensine ate - phonic acid -azo -diphenyl -amine." .Some of these cream colored curtain sud- denly changed to heliotrope. Investi- gation showed that, an.acaldentsI eF cape of hydrochloric add from a (neigh- boring alkali plant had dlacoiored the curtains, and the dye became a most useful test An Episode In Court. "You are charged with snatching a woman's pocketbook." "I know It, judge. But I wouldn't do such a thing, hungry and broke u I am." "Too conscientious, I suppose?" "No. I don't pretend that. But why should I snatch a woman's pocket- book? What would i want with a cou- ple of car tickets, a powder rag, a piece of chewing gum and a dresemak- er's address?" I Once more a shrewd criminal over- shot his mark. His familiarity with the contents convicted bim.-Waabing. ton Star. It has been observed that they who most loudly clamor forde not t. most liberally grant I—Sa:Mum HIS FiRST THOUGHT. President McKinley's Devotion to His invaiid Wife. In the early days of the Spanish war Mr. McKluley and Mark Hanna were engaged in a dose and serious evening conference •In the president's room. The time ran along to the bour of 9. Suddenly those busy in the outer room saw President McKinley rise and leave the apartment, saying, "Walt a few mo- ments, Mark." He was gone about twenty minutes. In the meantime Sen- ator Hanna walked restlessly between the two rooms, speaking a word or two to the secretaries and showing plainly that he shared with the president a feeling of deep anxiety as to the out- come of the military proceedings. He remarked on the telt of great shortage of supplies and from his words and bearing revealed to the assembled few In that outer room that the president and his closest advisers were lying awake nights and working to make up for the deficiencies of the military situ- ation. When the president returned he and Senator Hanna resumed their anxious consultation. Then the president's sec- retary remarked to one who was near him : "I suppose you wonder why Presi- dent McKinley got up so suddenly and left without a word to any one. You saw how anxious he was about the military situation. Even that would not cause him to break away from what has come to be the custom of bis early evening. "About the same time every night, when be hears a signal from the other side, be knows that Mrs. McKinley Is ready to retire and wishes to see him. No matter how busy he may be nor how deeply engaged In any subject, he Invariably drops everything on the to - stint and goes to their own apart- ments. There he site by the bedside and reads a chapter in the Bible to Mrs. McKinley. Then be waits a few moments until she is quiet, tiptoes back to the door, comes over bere to the of- fice and without a word takes up the thread of his work and keeps it up un- til toward midnight"—Chicago Trib- une. . FLEET ANIMALS. The Wonderful Speed Developed by the Greyhound. Representations of the greyhound ap- pear upon sculptures over 3,000 years old. There L no doubt that it is -one of the very oldest fixed types of dog and the most universal In its distribu- tion. India, Arabia, Persia, are among the countries that for ages past bad the greyhound. Lately there was ex - Whited in England a greyhound from Afghanistan—a shaggy form suited to that mountain land. Of course these dogs are not all exactly greyhounds In the western sense, but they are essen• dally the same in type; they are "gate• hounds," long legged, light built dogs, bred to run their game by sight and not by scent and to overtake it not by wearing It down, but by sheer speed and skill, of running. How this type was evolved affords much interesting speculation. "A greyhound Is probably the fastest creature that moves upon the earth," says a breeder of those animals. "It 1s on record that a greyhound beat the famous raee horse Flying Childers. An absolute trial between horse and grey- hound is difficult to bring off, because, While the horse can be ridden at top speed, It Is impossible to insure that the greyhound will run 'all he can.' But a dog that can start, say, fifty yards behind a hare and overtake It within another fifty, and this 1s about what a greyhound does, must surely be taster than anything else that lives or has his parallel only among the birds." The saute writer says of greyhound coursing: "One used to bear that It was a 'pothouse,' not a 'gentleman's' sport But 1 have heard men who fol- low both declare that they prefer coursing to racing, and I can quite un- dentand it. In coursing there Is the absolute certainty that all is above suspicion of anything 'shady.' Every time a dog 1s run he is honestly run to win or divide the stakes. You can- not 'pull' a greyhound" — Chicago News. The New Cook's Way. A new cook wail in the kitchen, and the mistress was trying to be pleased With the way she served dinner. The salad wu especially unappetising, with large, coarse green lettuce leaves instead of the crisp, white little hearts the tamily wu accustomed to. "What did you do to the lettuce?" mildly inquired the lady of the house atter dinner. "Bun, I washed It all good," replied the new cook. "But the small white part?" persist- ed tbs mistress. "Oh, the core, ye mean. I threw It away, of course."—New York Press. Happy Tear. A good cry 1s a solace to many wo- mew It steadies the nerves and, add- ed to a cup of tea and an interesting story, forms their idea of supreme hap- piness. Arising from the perusal of their books with red eyes, swelled fea- tures and a sopping pocket handker- chief, they feel their time has not been 'reshot —Lady Violet Greville in Lon- don Cbroplcle. A Little Ambiguous. • She --Bo sorry to bear of your motor *oddest! Enthusiastic Motorist—Ob, thanks! It's nothing. Expect to live through many more. Bbe--Ob, but I araat rent—Lawton Oninlos. IAiNNESOTA HISTORICAL SOCIETY, el per Year in Advance. !NGLANDSAYS NO ALUM Iti F00D and strictly prohibits the sale of alum baking powder— So does France So does Germany �rJ 4.4, The sale of alum foods has been made illegal in Washington and the District of Colum. bia, and alum baking powders are everywhere recognized as I°juri°"' To protect yourself against alum, when ordering baking powder, Sqpla,4- "AL"I' ROYAL. Patti and be very sure you get Royal. Royal is the only Baking Powder made from Royal Grape Cream of Tartar. It adds to the digestibility and whole.' someness of the food. DOG IW TELLIGENCE. The Clever "Malamutes" That Carry the Mails In Alaska. The Eskimo hymn to train hes dog for sledge work before It is a month old. One of the most interesting fea- tures of Eskimo villages are puppies fled to the pole of a tent. They pull on the rope with all their puppy strength in the effort to break away and join In the frolics of their elders. Not until a dog bred for mail service is one year old is It put In training for the trail. It begins by running ten miles with the team; then It is dropped out. Next day it runs the same dis- tance. Gradually the distance is in- creased until it reaches its fifteenth month of lite, when It becomes part of the regular servlet. The life of a mall dog is [nein three to four years. No greater punishment can be inflicted than to lay a dog off from service. When unruly they are often threat- ened with a iay-off, and with almost human intelligence they seem to un- derstand the disgrace It implies in the eyes of their fellow workers on the trail. All fight to be leaders. A con- stant spur to an unambitious dog Is the "outsider." who will quickly take away the leadership not only in the mil service, but in teams maintained cbleliy for the pleasure of the sport. The intelligence of the malamute is re- markable, its scent wonderful, its In• stinct, as a rule, unerring. Some dogs are better trail followers than others, as some are better lead- ers. In a blizzard the best of them lose the trail, but invariably find it. When on the trail they never eat but once a day, then at the end of a jour- ney. After feeding, like weary chil- dren, they fall asleep and are never quarrelsome. It takes on an average twenty pounds of food a day for a team of eleven doge on a hard routs.— Lida Rose McCabe in St. Nicholas. Navy is Never Done. A navy, like a railroad, is never done. There never comes the grateful moment when the work can be said to be finished and the sole task left to be discharged Is that of operation. As the roadbed, track, equipment of a rail- road must be constantly maintained and improved, so It there is to be any navy at all equipment must be con- stantly improved and brought up to date, even under the policy of "re- placement and repair."—Boston Tran- script Royal Crowns. Royal crowns have tended to become lighter. Thus, one made in the middle ages weighed over seven pounds, that of George IV. weighed five and one - halt pounds, while Queen Victoria's crown, containing the great ruby which belonged to the Black Prince, weighed three and one-quarter pounds. A Good Talker. "They say her conversational pow- ers are immense." "Is that so?" "Yes, sir. They tell ms that girl once talked clear through 'Parsifal"'— Louisville Conder -Journal. Exemplified. Georgie—Anntle, what does irony mean? Auntie—It means to say one thing and mean the opposite, like call- ing a rainy day a tine day. Georgle— I think I .understand you, auntie. Wouldn't this be irony: "Auntie, i don't want a nice Uig piece of cake?' Odd Change. "Grabblt has given up bank clerking to take a position as a conductor on the electric ears." "But that's an odd change." "Odd change? Sure! That's what in. dnceffhim."—Bohemian. Let every bird sing Rs owe nots.— Danisb Proverb. AN IRREGULAR VERB. One That Made a Frenchman Despair of Learning English. "What does 'Beat Itt';mean?" asked the man of an inquiring trams of mind of bis well Informed friend. "Why," was the reply;. "that meant to go, depart, be off, take your Leave and don't be slow about It. I don't know what it came from unless it is s bit of policeman's slang for 'Get off my beat!' or 'Clear out unless you want me to beat you!' "I am reminded of a line in one of Dr. Oliver Wendell Holmes' amusing poems, scattered through the pages of ! his delightful 'Autocrat of the Break- fast Table.' It runs: "Depart! Be oft! Exceed! Evade! Evamps! But it takes a Latin scholar to dis- cover the derivations of all his verbs of motion. "There is a story of a Frenchman who on his way to England was made the victim of a practical joke in re. gard to the verb 'go,' whose 'went,' going,' 'gone,' are irregular enough. goodness knows. He was found to be struggling with this variation: 'I go; thou departeat; he clears out; we cut stick; you make tracks; they abequatu- late,' and as he read it he exclaimed: "Mercy! What irregular verbs you have in your English language!' "—New York Tribune. Getting His Own Back. An ironworker, having had the worst of an argument with a friend, decided to get even with him. Waiting, therefore, until his enemy had retired to rest one night, he ap• proached his street door and knocked loudly in order to wake him. Opening the bedroom window, the other hurriedly inquired what the noise was all about "Why," replied the outslde one, "one of your windows is wide open." "Which one?" "Why, the one you have your head through," chuckled the other as he went away satisfied with the success of his plot—Illustrated Bits. Must Charge to Get Crowd. The ladies' guild of an uptown church had planned -an evening entertainment and reception and asked the rector to Make announcement of it on the Sun- day preceding. . "This is W right," he said, "but you mast charge admission." "Why, this is just a social evening," they protested. "We are inviting peo- ple." "They won't come," said the rector, "because they will think it is not worth while. But charge a small admission and you will have a good crowd" So the women gave in, and subsequent events proved the rector wu right.— New York Press. They Made Her, A grandmother wu reproving her little grandchildren for making so much noise. "Dear me, children, you are so noisy today! Can't you be a little more quiet?' "Now, grandma, you mustn't scold us. You see, it it wasn't tor us, you wouldn't be a grandma at ail."—Har- per's Weekly. Fronded Arithmetic. Teacher --Now, Tommy, it your fa- ther had twenty dosen eggs In his store and found that eighteen of than were bad, bow much would he lose? Tommy-Nothin'. You don't know ga. -Pathfinder. The Mean Part. Phil 0. Sophie—Don't worry, oft man. Chitlins always come home to roost, you know. Discouraged Billed -Yes, after they have Laid their GOT HIS MONEY. The New Depositor Made Quick Work With His Check Book. During a tinan<•hil stringency a Swedish farmer in one of the middle west states had sold some bogs on the local market and upon receiving his check in payment immediately went to the local bauk to realize ou his sale. Upon presentment of the check the banker said to him. "Do you wish the money on this check?" "Veil, I tank I yust so tell take him," was the quick reply. "You really want the money?" "Yah; 1 tank I take the mon-e." "But do you really need the money?" asked the banker. "Veil, no; I don't exactly need him, but 1 tank I take the mon-e." "Well," said the banker, "1f you real - 17 want the money of course I will give it to you, but I thongbt if you did not need it perhaps you might open an account and deposit the money and then check against it as you needed R." "Den ven 1 send my shecks here you rill refuse to pay dens." "Oh, no, we won't If you open the account, we will pay your checks whenever they come in." This seemed assuring to the Swede, and he said, "Veil, if you pays my *becks, den I open de account" And the account Was opened and passbook and check book handed to the new cus- tomer. Half an hour later a close friend of the new depositor appeared at the cashier's window and presented a check signed by his friend for the full amount of the deposit, which was promptly paid by the banker without comment In about an hour the Swede appear- ed and, walking up to the cashier's window, handed the banker his check book minus only one cheek, with the remark, "Veil, I don't tank I needs him any more."—Youth's Companion. AN ISLAND IN THE AIR. One of the Wonders of Prehistoric Pueblo Architecture. Three miles south of the Mesa En- cantada, in Mexico, is a splendid speci- men of fantastic erosion—an "Island" in the air, a rock with overhanging sides nearly 400 feet high, seventy acres In area on the fairly level top, Indented with countless great b„ys, notched with dizzy chasms. The great- er part of the island overhangs the sea like a huge mushroom, and on the top stands a town which for artistic charm, ethnological interest and romantic his- tory has no peer. This little town of Ancoma is one of the most perfect types of the prehis- toric Pueblo architecture. Most of the houses remain of the type -invented when every house must be a fort One climbed a ladder to his first roof and pulled up the ladder at night, living on the second and third doors and using the ground floor as a cellar. Against enemies armed only with bows and arrows this was a fair defense. Comfort had to be sacrificed to safety. Nothing except the eagle sought such inaccessible eyries as these victims of .their own civilization. Because they were farmers instead of freebooters, because they had homes instead of being vagrants, they were easy to find, and they were the prey of a hundred nomad tribes. With incon- ceivable labor this island town In the air was built and fortified It was reached only by a mere trail of toe holes up the stem of the "mushroom." The age of the island is not known, except that It was already old in 1540, when the first explorer visited it and wrote an account of its wonders. No Need of Them Some Day. At a monthly examination a boy of fourteen failed to spell 15 per cent of his words correctly. The tutor told him this was surprising and must not happen again. The boy replied that he thought he had done pretty well on the whole. "You must study those words over and over again," replied the tutor. "This must not occur at any future time. Study them so that you can re- member them forever." The boy stood still in silent contem- plation for a few moments and then remarked: "I was just thinking that I wouldn't live that song."—Harpers Weekly. Private Theatricals. In some private theatricals a fugitive from justice was supposed to escape from his pursuers by contealing him- self under a table. The table was small, and the terrified fugitive was somewhat lengthy. The commander of the pursuing par- ty rushed on the stage and fell over the legs of the man he was searching for. Picking himself up and ludicrous- ly rubbing his shins, be convulsed the audience by exclaiming in true dra- matic style: "Ha, ha! The dastardly villain has eluded us again!" — Philadelphia In- quirer. Bobby's Reason. Little Bobby was saying his prayers at bis mother's 1.nee, but so rapidly that she asked him why be did not speak more slowly. "Because, you know," he replied, "it would keep all the other children wait- Ing."—Llppincott's, Pointed. Lady (at railway station, to porter)— Now, porter, are you sure I have all my luggage in the train? Porter—Yes, swam Lady—Nothing left behind? Portur-Notbin' ma'ata-not even a 1 -Loddon Scraps, i